I had my mediation with the ex. I think I came out on top. I’m glad I kept fighting for my rights and while it’s not a golden ticket by any means (not that I wanted one, I just wanted to survive with roof over my head), but I like to think I got what I needed, and that’s what’s important.
I don’t know how long it will take me to want to start trusting other people with my emotions or heart, that’s not to say I don’t harbor a few minor crushes, but at the moment I feel like I’m too damaged to make myself happy, let alone someone else. I wonder if my wounds will heal enough ever because I am so angry for wasting more than 13 years on someone who hurt me mentally and physically. Someone who made me think constantly walking on eggshells was normal. I mean, he hasn’t even asked me how our pets are doing. It’s like he’s lost all emotion or feeling toward everything. I’m sure that’s something that could be said about the operation of his mind or whatever, but I’m not going to speculate. That’s not for me to do publicly. I have my thoughts on the matter, but I will not share them. I am trying to be as graceful with this as I can.
I’m happy to be moving on, finally. I actually have plans for a friend to come visit and stay with me, to go to a comic con or two, to go on a trip with other friends, to do big things with my life.
I’m actually excited for the future! This is the first time in awhile that I’ve seen a light at the end of the tunnel.
So, without further ado, let’s all put out our positive vibes and thoughts into the future and hope that this is the end of my bad luck streak. I will now only surround myself with people who are positive and put out loving vibes.
Thank you to all of those who stuck by me and gave me a hand in the darkness. I appreciate each and every one of you, and I am getting all the thank you packages ready to send to all of you! ❤️
Love you all!
x0x0,
☠️-Sid-☠️
