I really, really hate posting negative things on the internet. I don't like to come across as one of those annoying people who whines and cries all the time, but fuck it, I really need some venting. And I'm sorry if it makes me unpopular or makes people dislike me. I don't care. I'm pretty much not liked by a lot of people on SG anyhow because I don't sugar coat things.
I'm so tired of being sick. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome has literally taken my life away from me. I can't function like a normal human being, I can't work, and trying to get disability has been making me crazy. There's nothing more disheartening than trying so hard to be as normal as possible, but being told that your illness isn't legitimate and no one wants to help you.
The fact is, I can't walk long distances anymore, but I can't afford a wheelchair for those distances. I have a cane, but that embarrasses me because my insurance only paid for the worst old lady cane in existence. My medications run me $150-$200 a month with insurance helping out, but I can barely afford that on top of living expenses as it is. And it doesn't help that I can't contribute to my household. I feel like when we can't afford fun or nice things, it's my fault. I can't find a job willing to work with my EDS, and my music degree is useless as fuck.
I've been trying to sell things I make on my etsy, but no one wants my art. I seem to fail at everything I try. I have amazing ideas to make really awesome things, but I can't afford the materials to make them...
It's really frustrating to see things come so easy to everyone else around me. When I try anything, no matter how small, I fail miserably. I'm so very tired of being disappointed in life, more so of being disappointed in myself.
If I could wish anything, it would to be EDS-free, in other words, pain-free, and be able to be a normal functioning adult. I'm too old to ask for help from others. I'm too stubborn to admit I need it. I'm just so tired of not being able to do anything real or important.
I admire people who can take things in stride, but I'm tired of pretending I'm okay. I'm really not. Everything hurts a lot, and medication doesn't help. I can't afford to see specialists and get the proper braces and things I need to survive better. I just suck it up, and then sometimes, like now, I explode...
I wish life would deal me a good hand at least once and help me.
(the amount of pills I have to take every night, sans one prescription)
Thanks for listening to me vent.
x0x0,
Sid
I'm so tired of being sick. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome has literally taken my life away from me. I can't function like a normal human being, I can't work, and trying to get disability has been making me crazy. There's nothing more disheartening than trying so hard to be as normal as possible, but being told that your illness isn't legitimate and no one wants to help you.
The fact is, I can't walk long distances anymore, but I can't afford a wheelchair for those distances. I have a cane, but that embarrasses me because my insurance only paid for the worst old lady cane in existence. My medications run me $150-$200 a month with insurance helping out, but I can barely afford that on top of living expenses as it is. And it doesn't help that I can't contribute to my household. I feel like when we can't afford fun or nice things, it's my fault. I can't find a job willing to work with my EDS, and my music degree is useless as fuck.
I've been trying to sell things I make on my etsy, but no one wants my art. I seem to fail at everything I try. I have amazing ideas to make really awesome things, but I can't afford the materials to make them...
It's really frustrating to see things come so easy to everyone else around me. When I try anything, no matter how small, I fail miserably. I'm so very tired of being disappointed in life, more so of being disappointed in myself.
If I could wish anything, it would to be EDS-free, in other words, pain-free, and be able to be a normal functioning adult. I'm too old to ask for help from others. I'm too stubborn to admit I need it. I'm just so tired of not being able to do anything real or important.
I admire people who can take things in stride, but I'm tired of pretending I'm okay. I'm really not. Everything hurts a lot, and medication doesn't help. I can't afford to see specialists and get the proper braces and things I need to survive better. I just suck it up, and then sometimes, like now, I explode...
I wish life would deal me a good hand at least once and help me.
(the amount of pills I have to take every night, sans one prescription)
Thanks for listening to me vent.
x0x0,
Sid VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
And thanks for the offer of questions etc, I'll probably take you up on that at some point if you don't mind.