This post is going to be bittersweet. Not just because I will be talking about my sweet kitty who you’ve all seen grow up from a kitten to the last picture of her I took on the day she passed, but also because it makes me feel super old.
17 years ago today, my first set went live on this here little site called SuicideGirls. Upon shooting my own photos with one of the world’s first digital cameras, I never dreamed I’d be accepted here or that life long relationships (and, sadly a failed marriage from something that started out so wonderfully) would bloom and blossom into amazing bonds, and I never dreamed I’d find a place where I could openly talk about my life with its struggles, its beauty, and its pain.
I was 19:
and in college in Boston. I, wanting to get to know more people in my area who were members and models alike, I started a weekly gathering at a cafe that I’m not even sure exists anymore and we dubbed it “Beer and Burgers”.
My style has changed like the wind, but I’m trying to find out who I really am and healing from an abusive relationship. It’s been hard, especially after losing my beloved cat, Nyx, after 16 years together. She was always was there when I needed her. I’m so insanely broken.
And, I will not post the info here, but her vet bills were rather expensive, so if you’d like to help me out (and get a signed print for doing so), please contact me for how. I can also do special print orders (they will take longer), but please contact me, preferably through DM, but any little tiny bit helps. I’m seriously lost without her and also broke due to this happening after pandemic unemployment stopped.
This was actually the last set SG purchased of mine. I hope my sweet kitty is in a place with no more pain. I miss everything about her...
On to a happier note, I still haven’t given up on my set “Pastel Stars” shot by @milloux despite it sitting in member review for literally years.
Maybe someone will take pity on me and this set will be bought. Who knows?
I’m planning to go out to LA in the not too distant future to stay with a friend, hang out with other friends, and possibly shoot a set or two on both sides of the camera? If anyone is interested in shooting with me, let me know so I can keep you in the loop about when I’ll be visiting.
Eventually, by next year, I will be moving out around LA as I may have an awesome opportunity arising for me. So if you miss me on my soonish visit, know I will be back and permanently!
Anyhow, I guess happy SG anniversary to me, and I hope every single one of you has a wonderful day/week/whatever! I just wish my 17th anniversary here wasn’t so dampened by the loss of my cat, Nyx, and soured a bit by a brutal divorce with a person who was supposed to love me and instead decided that despite being 40, mommy and daddy will fix everything for him so he doesn’t have to work or grow up or be responsible. I don’t know. Life has just been a downer for everyone lately, I know, but I feel like I continue to fall in a pit of no breaks or ledges that I can hold onto so something can go right for once.
x0x0,
☠️-Sid-☠️
