realistic67

dude if your health insurance wants you to get a physical by your personal physician does this mean they drug test you? and if they do and find trace amounts do you think they would do anything about it?

[Edited on Jan 12, 2006 7:13PM]

problem solved. there was nothing to worry about. thanks again

yeah im already in therapy for other (total bullshit of living with my parents) reasons. i open up as much as i can to my therapist but they dont even come close to helping.
i want to forget about her completly, shes engaged now. wait no, i just want her to be a better person, someone who she obviously isnt. but i dont think shes mature enough to handle that. its not like life sucks because of all the bullshit but i dont want my other relationships to suffer. thanks again for all the help.

If you feel a therapist isn't helping, then get another opinion. I found It also depends on the sex of the therapist. I ended up seeing two different ones. My female therapist was great at the start but as I reassurted myself I realised that thier were things I wanted to say to her but I couldn't because she was a she. So, she got me to see friend of hers and he was able to help me with other issues regarding my understanding of the opposite sex in a more comfortable 'Male" space.

dude you give really good advice, seriously. are you a dr?

Hi again...nope, everyone's pretty sure this wasn't a result of stress (although I clearly remember telling the dudes in the ambulance that this was due to too much homework ) In truth, the docs say they really don't know WHAT might have prompted this and that we probably never will. Just another mystery the universe has thrown my way, lucky me. I continue to do better every single day. The double vision is episodic rather than constant and mostly I"m just tired as hell. I've been joking that there will be no lampshade on my head this New Year's.

I was glad to read your addendum to Add_rock about the mail order bride thing. Here in Portland there are a TON of those situations and most of them that I know are pretty unhealthy. Guess it's different in Vancouver, but still be careful with narrowing your search so much. If you ask me, (and I can presume to add my two cents worth) cast a wide net, ask LOTS of people out and focus on fun, not matrimony or permanence. Shyness, in many women's minds, is a very sweet and endearing attribute (and, I might add, highly attractive) but it's also one that many of us never get to see because it controls the guy too much....

yikes, I'll stop monologue-ing! Have a nice New Year's and I'll catch up with you later. Now get out there and pick out a good lampshade for tonight!

Oh, you can add more than two cents as far as I'm concerned. Women still facinate me as they will til I die.

It's just that being single at my age in my field really sucks. All the available women are at least 12 years younger than me and actresses to boot. ( Majority being rather shallow....) And sometimes the fustrations leads me to extreme measures in thought only.

Mind you, the three guys I speak of are real and they are actually very loved by the women in question. I think you have to really know yourself to make that kind of relationship work ( A thease guys do...) And I'd like to think by the time I'm 40 I'll have sorted out this love thing one way or another...

Sometimes Christmas can really bring out the good in people despite what Hollywood would like to portray My only sibling, a brother, has been out of my life for nearly 12 years by his own personal choice and no amount of effort on my part has been able to re-connect with him. Lots of tears on my part, lots of hateful words on his. However, he actually called me while I was in the hospital on Christmas eve and we had a lovely talk for about 15 minutes. When my mom took the phone from me at the end of the call, I dissolved into a wreck of tears becaused I've missed his presence in my life for so long. Perhaps this will be a good growing step for us but I hesitate to hold my breath because of all the past weirdness we share between us. The little nasty voice in my head said he's only calling because of my little brush with death -- this is all about guilt. He's not interested in mending fences. then I thought "how dare you, dee -- does it REALLY matter why he called at all? Stop judging the reasons and rationale and just be thankful that you could hear his voice again."

Bless you for holding on to that hope for your sister and DOUBLE bless you for remaining steadfast in your love for her. We can always pick our friends but we can't pick our family so it's nice to hear you speak of the positive things you still see within your relationship. Hold onto your optimism -- we sisters of the world applaud you for it.

It's all good, man.
Good to see everything went smoothly this christmas for ya.

Hope you have a great new year's!

Actually haven't gotten around to getting a tape player lol

Few years ago I used to have dreams about Keanu Reeves & could never figure out why since I'm not into him. Weird.

right on! thanks for the advice youve been giving on my thread and stuff, youre like the older brother i never had. (yeah i know thats super cliche but so what.)

I hope it goes well for you.

Hey I went to see Beauty & Beast. Not my usual thing but I did enjoy it!

I read this journal entry from you and smiled. I remember the day I came to that exact same place in my own life where it was hard to even remember the old life and the old relationship and all the old pain that went with it. To say congratulations to you sounds really cliche and lame, so instead I'll just say....

"peace"

hi ya, im aiming on being more responsive and chatty this week in the virtual world, wish you a good week!

Dude, I so get the leather pants thing. I ride so I have a couple pairs of "utility" leathers that I find myself having to get off the bike and go shopping in once a while. They make me very self-conscious. And so I carry my helmet like a security blanket so everyone knows it's a safety thing.

Sure it is.

But don't wear leather to a strip club. Or jeans, for that matter. You want the thinnest pants you own (and I'll bet you know why...)!