Their be some sports, that are painful in their labour....
well, it's resolution time....
I haven't done this in a while. I haven't felt the need really. But, this year has been kind of overcomforting and a little anticlimatic to say the least. Usually I'm too busy running around putting out one fire, or the next in my life. Jugging work, finding roomates and thinking of asking a woman out but not even succeeding in doing that, to do this. Or see any reason to a resolution.
Maybe, it's the Car situation, Movie work, and the fact that I'm getting up there in age and too much looking backs been happening for the last 4 years, with me and everyone around me. ( I'm so tired of the Pre - Post Sept 11 crap that's used to justify everything from personal security to the cost of freaking bread...) Plus, I miss buying nice things for my bike due to all the saving for a stupid car. I've more than doubled my original amount to spend on buying a car. And I'm back in January where car lots are hurting for shmows like me with a few bucks.
The 1st, ones easy : Get a Car.
I thought after finally telling that old ghost of my first relationship to leave the room. Things would fall into place. But, when it comes to the opposite sex. I realise now that I have a sort of PTSD about approaching them. I'm really scared of being shot down.
More to the point I realise that I've always been this way. Which has made me sort of dawn on the fact that, that's one of the reasons I pick such lame duck girlfriends in the first place. ( In actual fact, they pick me. And either I'm too lazy, focused on fixing them and enjoying the sex - Finally!!!! - too much to realise that the situation is going to bone me emotionally in the end when they bail.)
And I'm so tired that old broken record of : Being attracted but, being too shy, waiting too long, losing the moment. For fear of the woman in question laughing at my attempt to hook up with them. When other guys just do it, relax over the whole thing and if they get no bites. Move to another fishing hole. maybe their stronger than me or, they hide the pain of rejection better. But, I feel I'm missing something here.
So, the 2nd one is: Get as immune as possible to being shot down by women.....
I've got two years left before I'm a single guy who's 40 (basically persona non grata with women in this country.) and it's mail order bride time. For that, i was thinking eastern european woman. Seeing as I'm not really sexually attracted to asian women. But, between now and then I'm just going to ignore focusing on my attraction to a particular woman and just flirt for fun. Starting with Asian girls.
The 3rd: Get some more film work.....
Which is really easy and predicated on resolution No. 1 - the car. And working in film will be emotionally easy now that that albatross of emotion that The Vogue was, is soon to be turned into bad nightclub or resturant. I can have solid Union employment between two locals and save for my own place by the time I'm 40
I mean, I'm going to need a nice car and place. To show photos of to the Romainian mail order bride.....
well, it's resolution time....
I haven't done this in a while. I haven't felt the need really. But, this year has been kind of overcomforting and a little anticlimatic to say the least. Usually I'm too busy running around putting out one fire, or the next in my life. Jugging work, finding roomates and thinking of asking a woman out but not even succeeding in doing that, to do this. Or see any reason to a resolution.
Maybe, it's the Car situation, Movie work, and the fact that I'm getting up there in age and too much looking backs been happening for the last 4 years, with me and everyone around me. ( I'm so tired of the Pre - Post Sept 11 crap that's used to justify everything from personal security to the cost of freaking bread...) Plus, I miss buying nice things for my bike due to all the saving for a stupid car. I've more than doubled my original amount to spend on buying a car. And I'm back in January where car lots are hurting for shmows like me with a few bucks.
The 1st, ones easy : Get a Car.
I thought after finally telling that old ghost of my first relationship to leave the room. Things would fall into place. But, when it comes to the opposite sex. I realise now that I have a sort of PTSD about approaching them. I'm really scared of being shot down.
More to the point I realise that I've always been this way. Which has made me sort of dawn on the fact that, that's one of the reasons I pick such lame duck girlfriends in the first place. ( In actual fact, they pick me. And either I'm too lazy, focused on fixing them and enjoying the sex - Finally!!!! - too much to realise that the situation is going to bone me emotionally in the end when they bail.)
And I'm so tired that old broken record of : Being attracted but, being too shy, waiting too long, losing the moment. For fear of the woman in question laughing at my attempt to hook up with them. When other guys just do it, relax over the whole thing and if they get no bites. Move to another fishing hole. maybe their stronger than me or, they hide the pain of rejection better. But, I feel I'm missing something here.
So, the 2nd one is: Get as immune as possible to being shot down by women.....
I've got two years left before I'm a single guy who's 40 (basically persona non grata with women in this country.) and it's mail order bride time. For that, i was thinking eastern european woman. Seeing as I'm not really sexually attracted to asian women. But, between now and then I'm just going to ignore focusing on my attraction to a particular woman and just flirt for fun. Starting with Asian girls.
The 3rd: Get some more film work.....
Which is really easy and predicated on resolution No. 1 - the car. And working in film will be emotionally easy now that that albatross of emotion that The Vogue was, is soon to be turned into bad nightclub or resturant. I can have solid Union employment between two locals and save for my own place by the time I'm 40
I mean, I'm going to need a nice car and place. To show photos of to the Romainian mail order bride.....
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I was glad to read your addendum to Add_rock about the mail order bride thing. Here in Portland there are a TON of those situations and most of them that I know are pretty unhealthy. Guess it's different in Vancouver, but still be careful with narrowing your search so much. If you ask me, (and I can presume to add my two cents worth) cast a wide net, ask LOTS of people out and focus on fun, not matrimony or permanence. Shyness, in many women's minds, is a very sweet and endearing attribute (and, I might add, highly attractive) but it's also one that many of us never get to see because it controls the guy too much....
yikes, I'll stop monologue-ing! Have a nice New Year's and I'll catch up with you later. Now get out there and pick out a good lampshade for tonight!
It's just that being single at my age in my field really sucks. All the available women are at least 12 years younger than me and actresses to boot. ( Majority being rather shallow....) And sometimes the fustrations leads me to extreme measures in thought only.
Mind you, the three guys I speak of are real and they are actually very loved by the women in question. I think you have to really know yourself to make that kind of relationship work ( A thease guys do...) And I'd like to think by the time I'm 40 I'll have sorted out this love thing one way or another...