Last night's steam of consciousness diatribe was fueled by whiskey and a conversation with Alaina. I seem to either not give a fuck at all what people think about or I care far too god damned much. There is no middle ground.
I was feeling so depressed and alone that I almost drunkenly booked a trip to Vancouver last night. I wanted to just run away and be somewhere where I was utterly alone. I know that I'll do that for 5 days in October, but last night I just wanted it as soon as possible. I think I will soberly look into that soon anyway. It didn't seem terribly expensive, but it sure as fuck wasn't cheap either. I suddenly started thinking that I want to go to England too, that got me thinking that the day before Virginia asked for a divorce we had discussed taking a trip to England next (this) summer. That made me angry. She hasn't made me angry in awhile, so I'm kind of pissed that I got pissed... So much for not doing the stream of consciousness thing. Anyway, I'm already over it, but I do still want to go to England, or at least spend a few days in London even if I don't venture out. As much as I want to travel and be by myself, I think a trip of that magnitude will requite a merry band of cohorts. Which will invariably end up as an unmerry band of cohorts as long vacations are always good at pushing tensions high for one reason or another.
I was all amped up to get a tattoo and after finally having the artist get back in touch with me I'm nervous about it. Maybe that means I shouldn't get it, really though I'm think I'm more nervous about having to interact with another person to design it and everything. Social situations...Gotta learn to deal with them.
I think that's it for tonight, though I probably should update my "Userpics." They haven't changed in 5 years.I'm too lazy right now though. Maybe after work slows down...Ugh, there's another can of worms, but that can wait for tomorrow.
I was feeling so depressed and alone that I almost drunkenly booked a trip to Vancouver last night. I wanted to just run away and be somewhere where I was utterly alone. I know that I'll do that for 5 days in October, but last night I just wanted it as soon as possible. I think I will soberly look into that soon anyway. It didn't seem terribly expensive, but it sure as fuck wasn't cheap either. I suddenly started thinking that I want to go to England too, that got me thinking that the day before Virginia asked for a divorce we had discussed taking a trip to England next (this) summer. That made me angry. She hasn't made me angry in awhile, so I'm kind of pissed that I got pissed... So much for not doing the stream of consciousness thing. Anyway, I'm already over it, but I do still want to go to England, or at least spend a few days in London even if I don't venture out. As much as I want to travel and be by myself, I think a trip of that magnitude will requite a merry band of cohorts. Which will invariably end up as an unmerry band of cohorts as long vacations are always good at pushing tensions high for one reason or another.
I was all amped up to get a tattoo and after finally having the artist get back in touch with me I'm nervous about it. Maybe that means I shouldn't get it, really though I'm think I'm more nervous about having to interact with another person to design it and everything. Social situations...Gotta learn to deal with them.
I think that's it for tonight, though I probably should update my "Userpics." They haven't changed in 5 years.I'm too lazy right now though. Maybe after work slows down...Ugh, there's another can of worms, but that can wait for tomorrow.