Thanks for the advice phantasmagorist. I didn't get to read it in time though. I don't feel bad about what Katie and I do.
I don't think it's wrong...yet. Last night was pretty amazing to, so when it comes down to crunch time it's really gonna suck.
I don't want to give the impression through this journal that I'm some kind of player who wheels alot of girls. Prior to having sex with Katie the first time, I hadn't had sex for...oh god I can't beleive I'm writing this... 3 years.
Thats right, 3 long awful fucking years. I had more sex in fucking high school than in my twentis. Untill very recently I was thinking that my twenties would be very, very dry. Which is in contradiction to everything pop-culture has lead me to believe. I really don't want to go on or I'll be writing done everything that has happened in the last 3 years, it all seems to be interconnected.
So here's what I've decided. Today I talked to Cassi on MSN.
I finalized plans to meet her for the first time this week. I'm 99% positive I won't see Katie before then, she has a busy schedule. Thats the nature of our relationship really; we both live our seperate lives and get together every so often to have sex. That may sound kind of cold and empty, but it's actually not. Just take my word for it. But I digress.
So after I meet/date Cassi I will make my decision. If she is looking for a friendship, than I won't feel bad about continueing to see Katie. If she want's more than freindship, well, things get complicated. For starters, I don't even really know if I should be in a relationship right now, my arrangement with Katie not withstanding. Do I want to be in a relationship? Again, it's been a long time (you guessed it, 3 years).
I think I'm alot more comfortable with myself than I was three years ago, which is the main reason I haven't been seeing anyone. That and the fact that I'm socially mal-adjusted. Cassi sounds like a really cool person, someone I would actually like to be around. We seem to have formed an understanding already just by talking on MSN, so in person I'm assuming we'll get along well.
So if we do hit it off, I can't see Katie anymore. Which sucks, because even though we're not really close we do have a bond of sorts. In truth though, I have to admit to myself that I want more than just sex. I just don't want more with Katie, and I know for a fact she dosn't want any more from me.
This is hilarious. Less than a month ago I had no prospects at all, and it had been that way for a long time. Now, a couple weeks later, I'm faced with a decision between a girl that just wants to have sex with me, and a girl who may or may not want a relationship with me.
What the fuck. So now that I've written a damn novel I'll stop. If someone actually read this whole thing, feel free to comment. It would be cool if someone wanted to add me as a friend. I don't know about just asking people to be friends myself, I don't have that much confidence.
I don't think it's wrong...yet. Last night was pretty amazing to, so when it comes down to crunch time it's really gonna suck.
I don't want to give the impression through this journal that I'm some kind of player who wheels alot of girls. Prior to having sex with Katie the first time, I hadn't had sex for...oh god I can't beleive I'm writing this... 3 years.
Thats right, 3 long awful fucking years. I had more sex in fucking high school than in my twentis. Untill very recently I was thinking that my twenties would be very, very dry. Which is in contradiction to everything pop-culture has lead me to believe. I really don't want to go on or I'll be writing done everything that has happened in the last 3 years, it all seems to be interconnected.
So here's what I've decided. Today I talked to Cassi on MSN.
I finalized plans to meet her for the first time this week. I'm 99% positive I won't see Katie before then, she has a busy schedule. Thats the nature of our relationship really; we both live our seperate lives and get together every so often to have sex. That may sound kind of cold and empty, but it's actually not. Just take my word for it. But I digress.
So after I meet/date Cassi I will make my decision. If she is looking for a friendship, than I won't feel bad about continueing to see Katie. If she want's more than freindship, well, things get complicated. For starters, I don't even really know if I should be in a relationship right now, my arrangement with Katie not withstanding. Do I want to be in a relationship? Again, it's been a long time (you guessed it, 3 years).
I think I'm alot more comfortable with myself than I was three years ago, which is the main reason I haven't been seeing anyone. That and the fact that I'm socially mal-adjusted. Cassi sounds like a really cool person, someone I would actually like to be around. We seem to have formed an understanding already just by talking on MSN, so in person I'm assuming we'll get along well.
So if we do hit it off, I can't see Katie anymore. Which sucks, because even though we're not really close we do have a bond of sorts. In truth though, I have to admit to myself that I want more than just sex. I just don't want more with Katie, and I know for a fact she dosn't want any more from me.
This is hilarious. Less than a month ago I had no prospects at all, and it had been that way for a long time. Now, a couple weeks later, I'm faced with a decision between a girl that just wants to have sex with me, and a girl who may or may not want a relationship with me.
What the fuck. So now that I've written a damn novel I'll stop. If someone actually read this whole thing, feel free to comment. It would be cool if someone wanted to add me as a friend. I don't know about just asking people to be friends myself, I don't have that much confidence.