hellstorm

We both seem to write to get our feelings on paper. Or to try to get them out of our heads at least (an maybe I am just talking to my drunken self). I have written so much, and started at least 4 books. But this one book, it is almost done. Printed out is is well over an inch thick. I have put so much into it. It is about the "most humbling moment" in my profile. Damn good story, even though I do say so myself. If I have to, I have the name of two professional editors if I can't get myself to trust someone closer with it. Just have to see I guess.

I thought the original experience was hard, but writing about it is so much harder. I just hope all of those hours and months of pain are worth it. Thanks for caring and listening. I appreciate it.

Take care, my friend.

I know what you mean by it being more painful to actually write something out because it goes through so many parts of the brain to get to your fingers and eyes. I never thought it would be so hard for me to write this book. The hardest part though, has been the editing process, as there I have to go back and think about what I wrote a lot, and what to add and what to delete. If I wasn't editing this myself, it would have been so much easier.

I had been diagnosed with PTSD because of this experience. And from someone who knew it well, a great counselor who was a grunt in Vietnam and worked his way up to colonel. We remain great friends today. And somehow, even though writing so far had made me want to kill myself more than once, it has brought so much healing to me. I no longer have the nightmares, cold sweats, the though or smell that takes me right back to that place and time...

So it is healing in a way. Definitely. I just have to finish it. 90% there I would say. And I will get it published. I have always been hard on myself, but this is a great story and a great book. I just hope I can indeed finish it.

I would fight it too ... then switch banks if the results are less than favorable. Some banks offer free overdraft protection. Any bank that hits you with bogus charges like that is not worth doing business with.

Put a hold on the bounced check, pay the fee, cancel the account, then fight it. My ex went through this, needless to say. I rocked that banks world and got them to deposit the fee reimbursments plus interest to her new account at another bank for a profit of $35. Because they withdrew a fee a day early and caused a check to bounce 4 days after a payroll deposit, also breaking the 3 day fund availibility rule. Remember turning a branch office bank into the federal reserve really really pisses them off. Hint Hint
Again positive reinforcement for a bad attitude!

well there's mud puddles over there... i am sure you could find a girl that would enjoy jumping in them with you

Thats an interesting theory on "type". Hope you got everything you wanted to do, done.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you and Thank you. I saw the comment on Tunnels page. I cant believe ppl would seriously be that way. What sucks is it has been ppl WE KNOW. Ppl IRL dont understand either but I dont give a crap...I explain and they think its wonderful! PPl here? Damn.

It sucks that no one has ever been this nice to me and others have to try to make me feel bad about it...its ok tho...if they think bad about me than they dont know EITHER of us...and than they dont matter...

Wow, seems like I missed a lot while I was gone. I have yet to search around, but you do have me curious.

Speaking in riddles...I do it all the time. Literally. I have driven more than one girlfriend mad because of it. Don't really know why I do it, it's just sort of who I am I guess.

Good luck on the continued job search. It will come in time I am sure. In the mean time, I am sure everyone is appreciative of the home improvement work. Awefully nice of you, by the way.

"Never been drunk" - how my life would be so different if I could say that too

Take care

Habits and addictions?

SI?
SG Havana is some SG meet, its been talked about in a few groups i'm in.
Its close, seems popular, and its been since May since i have seen another Sger in person.

Probation rules state No establishments that serve alcohol, no leaving the county, home by ten (except for work), yada yada yada. I know a guy who was thrown back in jail for returning a movie on his way home from work after hours.
Plus the courts here hate me soooo its not worth the risk

I don't know what I'm getting. I had problems shipping everything today due to a zipcode error, so I'll have to try again in the mrning when I have a corrected address.

I would choose guns and ammunition, because a loaded gun can get you just about anything! Otherwise I have no clue.

Well i now know i'm not the only busy SGer on here.

Yeah, the work thing makes sense.

Yeah, you sound busy, as always. Take care tho.

O I thought it had something to do with those random handles and your dads vcr.

Yeah I'm catching up on my friends blogs today.. .damn i think i might have to many friends... 3 days... over 3 pages.. god damn it

Reflection is good, I think it gives you space and closure in order to move forward. I havnt yet done that over this New years.

Hellstorm, I'm a suicide survivor as well. It's incredibly difficult, isn't it? My first husband killed himself when I was 19, and it took me about 15 years to get over feeling guilty for somehow not knowing that he was going to do it... deaths are so hard! I just lost my Mom this May, still getting over that as well.

Anyway, guess I'm trying to say that I just might understand. Try me.

I see family is getting on your nerves

It's the sister I no longer have.

If they have eggnogg you should spike it with visine that should keep them out of your hair for a while

Hey Bestbuy should let you return it for a replacement no problem ... they scan the item into the comp when you buy it.

Check with hr about the vacation pay ... many companies have use it or lose it policies for vacation time, in addition to requiring x amount of notice in advance to using said time ... they tend to have their asses covered in these situations. They may give you nothing, a couple days pay, or the choice of the time or the complete amount ... often the corporation will allow the local management to make the choice.

Half of my friends are my old sg friends, others are from geezers, and a couple I found in sg friends threads.

your resolution and mine look very similar i hope you are enjoying the holidays!

Merry Christmas!!
I do not drink often. I can't. It lowers my blood sugars way to low. I always allow myself some with serious enjoyment around the holidays. The last really good bottle of wine I had was over the summer.

hang on now that's a Mountain Dew your drinking! Loaded with sugar!

85? What!! after all these drinks?
Fastings should be between 70 and 100. That is low man, but good! Apparently your body gets rid of it quick.
If I had that much sugar, it would take at least 4 hours to go down. I only had to take insulin when I was pregnant, but I have to make sure I never develop this agan. I also have to make sure I don't develop a baby again.