hellstorm

We both seem to write to get our feelings on paper. Or to try to get them out of our heads at least (an maybe I am just talking to my drunken self). I have written so much, and started at least 4 books. But this one book, it is almost done. Printed out is is well over an inch thick. I have put so much into it. It is about the "most humbling moment" in my profile. Damn good story, even though I do say so myself. If I have to, I have the name of two professional editors if I can't get myself to trust someone closer with it. Just have to see I guess.

I thought the original experience was hard, but writing about it is so much harder. I just hope all of those hours and months of pain are worth it. Thanks for caring and listening. I appreciate it.

Take care, my friend.

I know what you mean by it being more painful to actually write something out because it goes through so many parts of the brain to get to your fingers and eyes. I never thought it would be so hard for me to write this book. The hardest part though, has been the editing process, as there I have to go back and think about what I wrote a lot, and what to add and what to delete. If I wasn't editing this myself, it would have been so much easier.

I had been diagnosed with PTSD because of this experience. And from someone who knew it well, a great counselor who was a grunt in Vietnam and worked his way up to colonel. We remain great friends today. And somehow, even though writing so far had made me want to kill myself more than once, it has brought so much healing to me. I no longer have the nightmares, cold sweats, the though or smell that takes me right back to that place and time...

So it is healing in a way. Definitely. I just have to finish it. 90% there I would say. And I will get it published. I have always been hard on myself, but this is a great story and a great book. I just hope I can indeed finish it.