I think I'm quitting my D&D campaign. I'm sick of people taking credit for my work and being assholes to me in general. Apparently I'm a bitch for pointing shit out, and I'm a bitch for being smart.
It's especially fun when living with the one who is the thorn in your side. I need somewhere to go for a few days. I have finals this week. My piano player for my voice final baked out on me, so 2 days before it, I have to find a replacement, and all the players are booked. If I can't find a player by 2 pm on Tuesday, I automatically fail. I have 2 projects and 10 take home tests due tomorrow. I have my hardest final on Wednesday, which determines whether or not I fail the fucking class. I am so stressed, I can't even see straight half the time anymore because I'm getting blinding headaches.
I really fucking hate everything right now. I don't wanna go to school anymore, I don't want to live in Boston anymore. I have nothing here. No ties, no one who even remotely gives a fuck about me. If people cared, they'd call me once in awhile, or hang out. I have like 2 people who do that, and sometimes I feel like even they don't want me or need me around. I need a vacation, but I have no money to do that and pay bills. And forget my mom giving me anything. She'll buy my sister a brand new mercades and new coach bags every other month, but I'm lucky if she'll give me $100 to live off of for a MONTH. You can't even live on $45 a day in Boston, how do I get $100 to stretch over a month? She's the one who doesn't want me working right now either.
I'm probably manic depressive. I know I have something wrong with me, but I fucking hate my doctor, and my mom won't let me switch or go to a therapist either. My mom holds my mother fucking life in her hands, and I can't stand it. I feel like just leaving. Taking my cat and telling no one. So no one can bother me ever again. I'm sick of selfish assholes. I'm sick of sitting in my room by myself, waiting for other people to go away till I can come out and take care of things I need to do.
I'm so sick of it all. I'm tired of being nice and being treated like shit. I'm tired of dudes leading me on, only to go and tell people not to tell me they're seeing someone else. I'm tired of crying all the fucking time. I'm tired of being angry at everyone and everything. I want something good to happen in my life for once. I'm sick of feeling like a waste of space.
I just want one person to make me feel special. That's all.
x0x0,
Sid
It's especially fun when living with the one who is the thorn in your side. I need somewhere to go for a few days. I have finals this week. My piano player for my voice final baked out on me, so 2 days before it, I have to find a replacement, and all the players are booked. If I can't find a player by 2 pm on Tuesday, I automatically fail. I have 2 projects and 10 take home tests due tomorrow. I have my hardest final on Wednesday, which determines whether or not I fail the fucking class. I am so stressed, I can't even see straight half the time anymore because I'm getting blinding headaches.
I really fucking hate everything right now. I don't wanna go to school anymore, I don't want to live in Boston anymore. I have nothing here. No ties, no one who even remotely gives a fuck about me. If people cared, they'd call me once in awhile, or hang out. I have like 2 people who do that, and sometimes I feel like even they don't want me or need me around. I need a vacation, but I have no money to do that and pay bills. And forget my mom giving me anything. She'll buy my sister a brand new mercades and new coach bags every other month, but I'm lucky if she'll give me $100 to live off of for a MONTH. You can't even live on $45 a day in Boston, how do I get $100 to stretch over a month? She's the one who doesn't want me working right now either.
I'm probably manic depressive. I know I have something wrong with me, but I fucking hate my doctor, and my mom won't let me switch or go to a therapist either. My mom holds my mother fucking life in her hands, and I can't stand it. I feel like just leaving. Taking my cat and telling no one. So no one can bother me ever again. I'm sick of selfish assholes. I'm sick of sitting in my room by myself, waiting for other people to go away till I can come out and take care of things I need to do.
I'm so sick of it all. I'm tired of being nice and being treated like shit. I'm tired of dudes leading me on, only to go and tell people not to tell me they're seeing someone else. I'm tired of crying all the fucking time. I'm tired of being angry at everyone and everything. I want something good to happen in my life for once. I'm sick of feeling like a waste of space.
I just want one person to make me feel special. That's all.
x0x0,
Sid VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
fenway:
schools in RI are so much cheaper and if you can manage to tolerate your mom, living is lot cheaper. im not sure about how good the programs are, but sweetie you are going to make yourself sick there. i didnt even want my boyfriend commuting to boston everyday for a job b/c of the money and stress. i live in RI...hit me up with an email if you wanna chat or go out....are you coming down to see montys fan club and my chemical romance on sept 13th?
newkirk:
Hey I give fuck, I try to be everyones friend. Whether they want to be mine that's another story. Sounds like you need to get out with some good people and unwind. Having fun doesn't always mean spending money.