sid

*sigh* All was well and good today, till I woke up. My mom was yelling at me to get my ass out of bed cause I had an apointment with my asthma doctor today. Once I got there he started to yell at me over his concern for my weight. I had never ever in my entire life been berated for how much I weigh. All I do is fucking eat, but I'm always hungry and gain nothing. So when I got home, I decided that I'm going to start drinking one milkshake a day. Unfortunately, I then realized that everything in the damned fridge here is fat free. Which is something no one in my family needs. We could all stand to put on a few pounds.

Anyway, I had my milkshake that most likely did nothing for me, and it figures that as soon as my sister got home, she starts calling me a "fucking bitch" for eating "her" ice cream that my mother bought. And that was just the beginning of her and her bitching. It still hasn't stopped.

Then my mom gets home and starts blaming me for my sister screaming at me. She kept looking at me and yelling, "How old are you? You act like you're 4!" when I was the one just sitting on the couch and taking shit from my sister who is older than I am. I want to go out, but god for bid my "friends" from here should find any time for me. And I'd totally go out by myself, but my fucking mom and sister both have to always block my car in and are "too tired" to get up off their asses and move their cars so I can leave.

I hate being here. I want to go back to Boston, but I might not be able to get back till Thursday, which fucking sucks cause I want to go clubbing Wednesday night. God for bid someone in my family does something passed 6 pm. That's the time they just sit on their asses on the couch, while my sister endlessly flips through channels on the TV for the next 3 or 4 hours only stopping on the most annoying things she could possibly find.

I'm tired of being locked in my room all day cause no one gives a damn that I'm back "home" for once. People act so excited when I tell them I'm coming back, but then conviently avoid me when I am back, so I'm stuck here alone as usual. Sid being excluded again. Why do I bother ever trying to leave my house? Why do I bother making "friends" if they won't even give me 5 minutes for a coffee?

Every fucking "vacation" I get from school just makes my stress worse. I'm damn tired of it. I'm damn tired of life. Most of all, I'm damn tired of this shitty ass dial-up internet!

x0x0,
Sid