I love it when you're happy, then all of the sudden, things go downhill. Last night was crappy. There was crying, and feelings of guilt for being nervous about things. I didn't sleep last night. My sleeping disorder is really killing me, and my doctor refuses to treat it. 
I'm tired of feeling so disconnected, and I'm almost positive that everything that I'm feeling and how I'm acting is 100% based on the medication I'm on. And it's not like I can get off this stuff. Everytime I try, I get panic attacks and I feel like and think I'm going to have a heart attack. Blah.
Artificial happiness is ass. And I appologize for everyone in my life that's been affected lately. I just often get stressed around this time every year. It's now the time that I'm at my witts' end from forever being home with my rotten family for an entire summer (especially this year seeing as my mother broke and never fixed my car), and all the stress piling on from me knowing I have to start the endless rutt of school and homework again. Rawr. I wanna be fixed!
On a happier note, I'mma be going to get more holes punched into me this week. I'm considering getting either the other side of my lip and a vertical labret, or my nipples pierced. Not sure. In-put will be greatfully appriciated. I'm also hoping to get my chestpiece done within the next week or so.
All I know is I'm going to both Boston Warped Tour shows. I got passes to both shows, which kicks ass. I'm very excited about being able to meet so many awesome bands. And due to my great dorky-ness, I'm going to mack it to a certian guitarist of a certain band I love to try to get friendly with them so maybe I can get perks with them (ie being in their music videos?).
Anyway, I'mma get going. I'm going to shower, relax, hopefully calm down... I hate this medication.
Love,
Sid
I'm tired of feeling so disconnected, and I'm almost positive that everything that I'm feeling and how I'm acting is 100% based on the medication I'm on. And it's not like I can get off this stuff. Everytime I try, I get panic attacks and I feel like and think I'm going to have a heart attack. Blah.
Artificial happiness is ass. And I appologize for everyone in my life that's been affected lately. I just often get stressed around this time every year. It's now the time that I'm at my witts' end from forever being home with my rotten family for an entire summer (especially this year seeing as my mother broke and never fixed my car), and all the stress piling on from me knowing I have to start the endless rutt of school and homework again. Rawr. I wanna be fixed!
On a happier note, I'mma be going to get more holes punched into me this week. I'm considering getting either the other side of my lip and a vertical labret, or my nipples pierced. Not sure. In-put will be greatfully appriciated. I'm also hoping to get my chestpiece done within the next week or so.
All I know is I'm going to both Boston Warped Tour shows. I got passes to both shows, which kicks ass. I'm very excited about being able to meet so many awesome bands. And due to my great dorky-ness, I'm going to mack it to a certian guitarist of a certain band I love to try to get friendly with them so maybe I can get perks with them (ie being in their music videos?).
Anyway, I'mma get going. I'm going to shower, relax, hopefully calm down... I hate this medication.
Love,
Sid VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
but take care & i hope you feel better soon.