sid

Trying to find words to describe the world around me without sounding pessimistic or down about it is getting increasingly harder. I fear for the future of our world at times. People of my generation are raising children to be self-centered and obnoxious, and I guess I've never realized how many of my generation were raised that way themselves. Although, the horribleness of how people treated each other in my home town, Cranston, Rhode Island, is the exact reason I left there in the first place.



I found some lonely book pages scattered across a parking lot. It almost made me a little sad until I realized it was a copy of "Fifty Shades", and then I was immediately happy that someone tore apart that trash that can't even be considered literature. I took some photos:





I've been feeling left out a bit lately. It's like the world spins by me, and people look at me, but never want me to join in...



I guess I feel bummed most of all because after months of planning our SGColorado event, and taking the time (and the money) to go up to Denver, no one showed up. I'm sick of making the effort and then no one coming. Then I get called a "shitty group owner" for "not having enough events". I don't know anymore. It hurts to plan things and have no one come. I stopped inviting people to my house or anywhere for that reason. Everyone and everything is so much more important than I am...



It's really frustrating and heartbreaking when you're the one everyone forgets.



Sometimes I think about why I'm still around here. I can't get a set bought (or shot), I'm apparently disliked by many members, I'm too old, and therefore not pretty, no one wants to use me to promote anything... I don't think anyone would notice if I were gone...

My self esteem has been shot completely lately... Fuck.



What do I do from here? Pick me up, please.

x0x0,
Sid