An entry in song lyrics:
Try to get some rest now, sleep's not coming easy for a while, child
once again, it's almost 4 am and I can't sleep.
I hear sound echo in the emptiness
All around, but you can't change this loneliness
another useless night clubbing. spent my night feeling lonely as usual. watching couples migrate toward eachother on the dancefloor as i sat there tired and sober... I've decided not to drink on weekdays when i have class the next day.
40 ounce intoxicated dreams
Seem like the only way I can not feel pain anymore, but lately my drinking has been too much. I don't want to have to rely on a substance to make me feel better, so i'm slowing the drinking down now. I need to take care of my body.
And I don't care if you don't love me
And I don't care if you don't change
And I could live inside the shadow that I cast for you
If it meant that you would stay
It's funny when you think you know someone, and you don't. I wish I could pretend my friends are the pretty little pictures i've painted of them, but a lot of them are not... at least recently i'm finding friends who claimed they'd be here for me, are not...
A ghost of you is all that I have left
It's all that I have left of you to hold
Thanksgiving is a hard time of the year for me and my family. My father's birthday is November 25th. because of this, we no longer celebrate thanksgiving. we all miss my dad terribly. instead of dwell on his death, we go away to Aruba for the holiday... but honestly, that doesn't help me at all...
Where it used to be your face
Is an empty space
I'm feeling a void in my life, like i'm missing someone who should be there. I guess this could stem back to my dad, but it's like lately the only one who loves me is my cat... is that even remotely healthy?
it's hard to wave goodbye from aeroplanes
when i just don't think that you can see
i taper off
and say its never worth the pain
but sometimes it is...
When leaving to go on this vacation, I'm going to try my best to act like I'm leaving my problems here in Boston forever. I am going to try hard to never look back at this bullshit I've been dealing with. Easier said than done...
there's nothing left for me to give
I wish I could
and I know that I should but
you know I know I won't
I'm at the point in life where I cannot give anymore to the takers in my life. I've tried so hard to ignore them, to make them go away, but they are like blood-sucking leeches trying hard to suck every little bit of my life out of me. The sad thing is, they know they are doing this, and even sadder, they are going to read this part of my journal and know I am talking about them... they are also going to get this sick, twisted little pleasure from knowing that they are a thorn in my side. I hope they see this and get the fucking hint that they are not welcome around me or my friends, and if they come around, they are going to feel very fucking uncomfortable, and the great thing about that is, i'm not lifting a finger to make them feel that way... i have great friends who look out for me without me asking.
I am lost in the see through
I think you lost yourself too.
Throughout all of this confusion
I think well somehow make it through.
Each day just drags on by
Bringing with you a new lie.
Just when I think I could die
You come and bring me back to life
And you said
"You can't change the way you feel"
But you cant tell me this ain't real cause this is real...
The story of my love life... Has been holding true for years now. It's weird how that being the girl who was a loser in high school and was always rejected is still following me to this day. I guess there are somethings we can't get away from.
i'm sick of smiling
And so is my jaw
Can't you see my front is crumbling down
I'm sick of being someone I'm not
Please get me out of this slump
-Self explanatory-
x0x0,
Sid
Try to get some rest now, sleep's not coming easy for a while, child
once again, it's almost 4 am and I can't sleep.
I hear sound echo in the emptiness
All around, but you can't change this loneliness
another useless night clubbing. spent my night feeling lonely as usual. watching couples migrate toward eachother on the dancefloor as i sat there tired and sober... I've decided not to drink on weekdays when i have class the next day.
40 ounce intoxicated dreams
Seem like the only way I can not feel pain anymore, but lately my drinking has been too much. I don't want to have to rely on a substance to make me feel better, so i'm slowing the drinking down now. I need to take care of my body.
And I don't care if you don't love me
And I don't care if you don't change
And I could live inside the shadow that I cast for you
If it meant that you would stay
It's funny when you think you know someone, and you don't. I wish I could pretend my friends are the pretty little pictures i've painted of them, but a lot of them are not... at least recently i'm finding friends who claimed they'd be here for me, are not...
A ghost of you is all that I have left
It's all that I have left of you to hold
Thanksgiving is a hard time of the year for me and my family. My father's birthday is November 25th. because of this, we no longer celebrate thanksgiving. we all miss my dad terribly. instead of dwell on his death, we go away to Aruba for the holiday... but honestly, that doesn't help me at all...
Where it used to be your face
Is an empty space
I'm feeling a void in my life, like i'm missing someone who should be there. I guess this could stem back to my dad, but it's like lately the only one who loves me is my cat... is that even remotely healthy?
it's hard to wave goodbye from aeroplanes
when i just don't think that you can see
i taper off
and say its never worth the pain
but sometimes it is...
When leaving to go on this vacation, I'm going to try my best to act like I'm leaving my problems here in Boston forever. I am going to try hard to never look back at this bullshit I've been dealing with. Easier said than done...
there's nothing left for me to give
I wish I could
and I know that I should but
you know I know I won't
I'm at the point in life where I cannot give anymore to the takers in my life. I've tried so hard to ignore them, to make them go away, but they are like blood-sucking leeches trying hard to suck every little bit of my life out of me. The sad thing is, they know they are doing this, and even sadder, they are going to read this part of my journal and know I am talking about them... they are also going to get this sick, twisted little pleasure from knowing that they are a thorn in my side. I hope they see this and get the fucking hint that they are not welcome around me or my friends, and if they come around, they are going to feel very fucking uncomfortable, and the great thing about that is, i'm not lifting a finger to make them feel that way... i have great friends who look out for me without me asking.
I am lost in the see through
I think you lost yourself too.
Throughout all of this confusion
I think well somehow make it through.
Each day just drags on by
Bringing with you a new lie.
Just when I think I could die
You come and bring me back to life
And you said
"You can't change the way you feel"
But you cant tell me this ain't real cause this is real...
The story of my love life... Has been holding true for years now. It's weird how that being the girl who was a loser in high school and was always rejected is still following me to this day. I guess there are somethings we can't get away from.
i'm sick of smiling
And so is my jaw
Can't you see my front is crumbling down
I'm sick of being someone I'm not
Please get me out of this slump
-Self explanatory-
x0x0,
Sid VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
-TM