m_bethany

Rock on! The coolest post I've read during my time here at SG hands down.

I'm glad you're feeling better! Go forth and kick ass, angel.

-Mike

i moved from a one hour subway ride to a ten minute walk from her college. she dumped me. for the last few months i've had to deal with the train going right by her stop, right by her school, and having to have the sickly sting in my hollowed-out chest every fucking day just sucked.

when she dumped me i did the same thing that you are doing. i threw myself at my career and i started working out constantly. i ended up losing about 20 pounds in the last three months. and i am happier then i've been in a couple of years, but i still miss her y'know?

i have had a very difficult time accepting the fact that all of her sweet and lovey-dovey talk was apparently bull shit, cuz in the end she said that what we had wasn't special. i'm an angry boy when i think of it all.

forget it and move on though right?

good luck on finding an artist, but just remember, us good artists are fucking nutters! i dated three artists in a row... and i'm fucking dying for a NORMALER person now.

haha, yeah that's a good one

and just to echo what everyone else has said already, nice picture!

Thank you for the happy birthday.

Good to hear you're feeling better! There are plenty of awesome people in the world who you're glad to know and care for ya. There's no point in spending time with people who aren't like that.

Hey, I'm 29 and I agree with you that there ain't nothin' wrong with a 22 year old girl with a rockin' bod. If I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd definitely lining up to buy you a drink.

boston's nice this time of year...

You are one prolific writing motherfucker.

Been a long time since I've hurt the way you are now but I still remember it clearly. Unfortunately, it just takes time to get over these things, and a one night stand or two doesn't hurt either.

I've learned that some relationships are like a bad drug addiction you just refuse to let go. I'm sure you're thinking about all the good times you spent with this guy, but people who care about you don't handle things this way.

You'll have withdrawls for awhile but, eventually, life returns to normal and your heart, although maybe scarred, will be healthy again. Just remember, no good relationship happens outside your safety zone. That's what makes it good.

That sucks! I'm sorry sweetie. First of all, I just don't get the whole S&M thing... i think anyone who is as deeply into as he sounds (not just for the experimentation) has other issues that he is using this form of non-sex to release. But also it sounds like there was more lacking from the relationship. I mean taking from what little is there it sounds like the relationship was based more on the physical than emotional, otherwise he would have been as giving to your needs as you attempted to be to his, and not just breaking up with you and leaving things unsaid on numerous occassions. As much as it hurts now, i've found break-ups are often for the best. You have to go through quite a few people to find the one that is truly compatible with you for the long haul of life. You are beautiful, intelligent, and strong, and you will find that person you diserve to be with who will treat you like a princess.

-Kevin

"I am with you all.

I have not had play in 2 weeks, and I am a hottie.
Where is the justice in the world?" -Angel0Diablo

Yes, you are a hottie. Fortunately, the lack of play injustice is generally easily fixable for hotties.

Capitalism's finest is a fairly low bar. The Bum Fights are a proper metaphor for much of capitalist society.

Anyway, great profile. You are rad.

I think that is kinda funny.....not that it happened outside your door but the BUM FIGHT thing...we have "poo dollar" down here..where you put dog poop on a dollar bill and set it on the sidewalk and watch people pick it up>>>haha...good times...

Oh and as you already know...I do not agree with your political views..and that is cool and all...but the effects on the economy are due to what is called "Lag Time" :The time between the occurrence of a phenomenon and its resulting effect.: Meaning all the economic shit that is going on now is a direct effect of what Clinton did during his terms in office...that is just the way shit works and yes the economy was good during his administration because of Bush senior....I am all for capitalism...with out it there would be no jobs and with out jobs there would be no economic growth...sorry but that is just the way I feel...Have a graet day...and stay away from that boy...some people are just toxic...

Be well, Angel.

Go get some ice cream

You are of a mythical level of maturity and intelligence if you can admit that this break-up could be your fault. The thing is, are you sure you're not being too hard on yourself?

I've delt with depression for 10 of my 20 years on earth. I've been in theropy for 2. As I'm rounding the bend to my recovery, I'm finding that my inner perception of the situations going on around me were ten times as negitive as they were in reality. Everything around me was so black back then. From my new healthier view point, some of the same problems arise (issues with parents, a girl I can't get, another failed college course) but they're not as bad anymore. I find that I've developed tools to deal with the bullshit going an around me.

Enough about me, though.

With the amount of emotion you've invested in this man, your present situation must be darker than anything I've ever experianced. Perhaps I can still provide insight, though.

Honostly (and I know this is NOT what you want to hear) I would give it some time. Create a buffer around this situation, so a week from now you can look back on it without as much emotion clouding your vision. When you're very sad, nothing is ever as it seems. Use this week of 'down time' to heal, to regain some footing, and to plan out what you'd like to resolve. Afterall, it's never too late to repair a broken relationship and fix your mistakes. Might as well hang back and wait til you're better equiped to do these things, right?

I'd like to think I know what I'm talking about, having delt with depression and the like. Still, I understand if you read the above and think to yourself "what a bunch of bullshit." Afterall, the best person to solve your shit is you, but I still think the best place to start is a week from now when you're feeling better.

I know you'll get it figured out. I also think you'll get the guy back in the end. If you really love him, it'll eventually work out.

K, bye
-Mike

(haha I didn't check this post for typos either)

JSpooky makes an excellent point. Right now, walk away. Basically, if your ex believes you are trying to control him and the people around you, the only thing you can do to show him/them that you're not trying to control them is to take yourself out of the equation for a period of time. Not a day or two, at least a week or more. It will be the hardest thing for you to do, but what he's saying is he wants space. Right now, he doesn't want explanations or to talk, he just wants space. If he texts you or leaves you messages, ignore them (he may want space, but like most guys he doesn't want to be the villain either). Get back into a routine, hit the gym, go take care of yourself. You need to recharge and refocus, and while you yearn to reach out to him, don't do it now. Concentrate on yourself. It will hurt, but if you're going to ever have a relationship with him (friendship or intimate), you and him need the space. You two need the time apart. Don't even worry about that other chick, let her play her games. Trust him that he won't fall for them, but if he does, then there's your answer.

I hope this helps. I, too, am no expert so this is only a suggestion. Take care and be well.

what up freak you know we are so close from each other you should shoot down here to Typhons and have some sushi with me.

Relationships suck, eh? The back and forth shit is a killer. Still, it's better than being alone.

You'll get it figured out, I'm sure.

Let me know what you think of Moore's new film. I still need to see it!

That is some serious writing wow your not on any thing. Naw not you. take care lov oh and yes me and my girl will take you up on that offer.

I am trying to download Fahrenheit 9/11 off of emule, but if it doesn't turn out to be it I will be going to see it too. I have been looking forward to it since I heard about it about two months ago. I am as anti-Bush as someone can be. If Bush gets reelected I am likely moving to Canada, because I forsee a nucleur bomb being used on the US if he has second term.

I also agree with the government controlled/issued marijuana, with the revenue we could get from it we could pay off the national debt, provide free health care and free college educations to every american citizen. Hell we would still have enough money left over to likely finance NASA forever!!

I personally hav given up weed, but how can something less harmful then both cigarettes and alcohol (both of which I don't do either) be a bad thing.