JOURNAL:
Wow! I need to post pictures more often! as soon as I get the hang of it.
I am so excited though! I am thinking of going up to Sunset Tattoo tonight to check out a new artist for my next tattoo. It is addictive... and I got so many warnings....
As I chilled with some friends last night and tried (and eventually failed) not to fall asleep on their couch while my girl ran around cleaning the house because she was on... well, the nose candy. I was so proud of myself, I did not do any. I was happy with my pipe and Burger King salad. Well, we were talking and she brings up how my ex is all enamored with this new girl he is seeing, and she says he said "he is really falling for her.." and I had to stop her and tell her "I'm not ready to hear about him in that department yet. I am glad he is doing okay." It really made me feel such a ping in my stomach... but I digress..
I woke up at 5:30 am at my friend's in Silver Lake on their couch, got up to go home, and decide I was going to not get mad and upset yet again, beat myself up for the break up etc not happy with the situtation... blah blah blah. Instead, I went home, changed into gym clothes, and went to the gym at 6 am. I worked out for a half hour, ran 2.7 miles in 25 minutes, and then went home to shower, chill, watch some old Dawson's Creek episode on TBS, smoke a bowl, drove to work for an hour. In that whole time I decided not only was I fucking the shit today because I started it right and felt good about me but I also realized that I too will find someone, and that someone will be more of the man I need, not a boy to take care of (he did Doormat me a lot). That is why I am going to meet an artist today... because not only is he talented, he is really hot and it would be nice to flirt with hot guys this weekend while I am worrying about where my next job will be.
Yes, I am going to try and work at a restaurant down in SM by or on the beach, I want to switch to that job so the office work is over with for awhile. It is just too stressful! I could wait tables 4 days a week if I made $500-600 a week on a good week, $400 in a bad one. I am tired of the 9-5, I want vacation time options and a flexable schedule. Time to be a waitress to finish SMCC. I can do it.
I also need to move. My ex's store front is literally across the street from my apartment. Now, as much as I see it the pang in the stomach gets bad to worse and I cannot really avoid it for too long. It is there, it is not moving. But I can. And although the same probably exists for him, I am pretty sure he is not looking at my apartment from across the street and thinking what a mistake he made and how much he misses me. Chances are, he had already justified himself and is more than happy to avoid me as long as I do not get confrontational.
Here is where I shine. This is the proper way to deal with this...
I am going to be working my ass off, literally, and getting back into shape, getting well adjusted mentally to handle seeing him socially (cuz frankly, it is going to have to happen, sooner the better) and then I am sure I will meet someone who I get along with and smile for... someone I love to date. Once I have my life rolling schedule wise and perhaps even move, I can stroll into his shop with my bad self, maybe have someone photograph me in some nice SG style photos, come in to get prints or pick the set, invite to drinks. I am hot, I am the bomb, he has to deal with the exposure to that at drinks and, as the one in control, the guy with me will be hotter, cuter, and just a freaking smartie however I like the brain (I like balance of intellect) and I will be back on my game too.... and that is called the IN YOUR FACE - CLOSURE act.
It happens eventually, so why not be prepared?
I am not a plotter in the bad way. I never plot to manipulate a guy to give me stuff or whatever. I do it to remind them who has the upper hand - and that is me baby. Once my bitch, forever my bitch. And I do not dominate all my prey, just the ones I conquered in relationships. And even that is too harsh. I do not attack unless I am provoked, and I do some mean damage when I am pissed off. That is why I know, since I possess patience as a virtue, I will have my revenge. And revenge is served best cold right? The only reason why I can be a bitch: Survival. Just like my tatt labels me as.
So that is my day so far. I am waiting for the sun to come out here in Malibu so I can continue my sunny nature day with some nice exposure on my legs since I should be nice and tanned for flirting and it is 4th of July weekend so the tanner the better.
I think I am going to call a bunch of my old friends I used to hang with before my ex and party days and see them all again. I had so much fun before and it much better friend-wise then my party people, hummm... interesting. Go back to what you know I guess when there is no where more you can travel on the route you have chosen.
My days are getting better. Just in the last week was I devistated and then revived, partially because of the encouraging posts by all of you and the few who have made the attempt of contact. I will see some of you this weekend perhaps. Know any good parties going on, classy hollywood style or south bay beach kicking back? I am interested, and bring some mean chronic.
Lesson #23- YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF AND ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE BEFORE ANYONE ELSE CAN TRULY LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU DESERVE.
That is my most difficult lesson, as I am like every woman now who has fallen in love willingly, believing their partner when they say they would never treat you with little respect or shun you if you break up - but they do. Gentlemen, want to piss off a woman? Do not answer one of their calls when you break up. If there is a conclusive conversation and it is clear no communication is wanted, then ignore all you like. But the way I had it done makes me thirst for bloody revenge, and anyone who knows me knows that now I have been betrayed in such a crippling mannar, I will have no mercy at any opprotunity I have to make his life hell.
And that is promise. Don't fuck with me or you will learn the lesson personally.
To new horizons and my abs soon to be seen in all their glory (will post another pic next week or sooner).
Mahalo visitors. Thanks for clocking in the comments.
~the angel*
and 
naw its just
my ass today. I am the bomb.
Wow! I need to post pictures more often! as soon as I get the hang of it.
I am so excited though! I am thinking of going up to Sunset Tattoo tonight to check out a new artist for my next tattoo. It is addictive... and I got so many warnings....
As I chilled with some friends last night and tried (and eventually failed) not to fall asleep on their couch while my girl ran around cleaning the house because she was on... well, the nose candy. I was so proud of myself, I did not do any. I was happy with my pipe and Burger King salad. Well, we were talking and she brings up how my ex is all enamored with this new girl he is seeing, and she says he said "he is really falling for her.." and I had to stop her and tell her "I'm not ready to hear about him in that department yet. I am glad he is doing okay." It really made me feel such a ping in my stomach... but I digress..
I woke up at 5:30 am at my friend's in Silver Lake on their couch, got up to go home, and decide I was going to not get mad and upset yet again, beat myself up for the break up etc not happy with the situtation... blah blah blah. Instead, I went home, changed into gym clothes, and went to the gym at 6 am. I worked out for a half hour, ran 2.7 miles in 25 minutes, and then went home to shower, chill, watch some old Dawson's Creek episode on TBS, smoke a bowl, drove to work for an hour. In that whole time I decided not only was I fucking the shit today because I started it right and felt good about me but I also realized that I too will find someone, and that someone will be more of the man I need, not a boy to take care of (he did Doormat me a lot). That is why I am going to meet an artist today... because not only is he talented, he is really hot and it would be nice to flirt with hot guys this weekend while I am worrying about where my next job will be.
Yes, I am going to try and work at a restaurant down in SM by or on the beach, I want to switch to that job so the office work is over with for awhile. It is just too stressful! I could wait tables 4 days a week if I made $500-600 a week on a good week, $400 in a bad one. I am tired of the 9-5, I want vacation time options and a flexable schedule. Time to be a waitress to finish SMCC. I can do it.
I also need to move. My ex's store front is literally across the street from my apartment. Now, as much as I see it the pang in the stomach gets bad to worse and I cannot really avoid it for too long. It is there, it is not moving. But I can. And although the same probably exists for him, I am pretty sure he is not looking at my apartment from across the street and thinking what a mistake he made and how much he misses me. Chances are, he had already justified himself and is more than happy to avoid me as long as I do not get confrontational.
Here is where I shine. This is the proper way to deal with this...
I am going to be working my ass off, literally, and getting back into shape, getting well adjusted mentally to handle seeing him socially (cuz frankly, it is going to have to happen, sooner the better) and then I am sure I will meet someone who I get along with and smile for... someone I love to date. Once I have my life rolling schedule wise and perhaps even move, I can stroll into his shop with my bad self, maybe have someone photograph me in some nice SG style photos, come in to get prints or pick the set, invite to drinks. I am hot, I am the bomb, he has to deal with the exposure to that at drinks and, as the one in control, the guy with me will be hotter, cuter, and just a freaking smartie however I like the brain (I like balance of intellect) and I will be back on my game too.... and that is called the IN YOUR FACE - CLOSURE act.
It happens eventually, so why not be prepared?
I am not a plotter in the bad way. I never plot to manipulate a guy to give me stuff or whatever. I do it to remind them who has the upper hand - and that is me baby. Once my bitch, forever my bitch. And I do not dominate all my prey, just the ones I conquered in relationships. And even that is too harsh. I do not attack unless I am provoked, and I do some mean damage when I am pissed off. That is why I know, since I possess patience as a virtue, I will have my revenge. And revenge is served best cold right? The only reason why I can be a bitch: Survival. Just like my tatt labels me as.
So that is my day so far. I am waiting for the sun to come out here in Malibu so I can continue my sunny nature day with some nice exposure on my legs since I should be nice and tanned for flirting and it is 4th of July weekend so the tanner the better.
I think I am going to call a bunch of my old friends I used to hang with before my ex and party days and see them all again. I had so much fun before and it much better friend-wise then my party people, hummm... interesting. Go back to what you know I guess when there is no where more you can travel on the route you have chosen.
My days are getting better. Just in the last week was I devistated and then revived, partially because of the encouraging posts by all of you and the few who have made the attempt of contact. I will see some of you this weekend perhaps. Know any good parties going on, classy hollywood style or south bay beach kicking back? I am interested, and bring some mean chronic.
Lesson #23- YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF AND ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE BEFORE ANYONE ELSE CAN TRULY LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU DESERVE.
That is my most difficult lesson, as I am like every woman now who has fallen in love willingly, believing their partner when they say they would never treat you with little respect or shun you if you break up - but they do. Gentlemen, want to piss off a woman? Do not answer one of their calls when you break up. If there is a conclusive conversation and it is clear no communication is wanted, then ignore all you like. But the way I had it done makes me thirst for bloody revenge, and anyone who knows me knows that now I have been betrayed in such a crippling mannar, I will have no mercy at any opprotunity I have to make his life hell.
And that is promise. Don't fuck with me or you will learn the lesson personally.
To new horizons and my abs soon to be seen in all their glory (will post another pic next week or sooner).
Mahalo visitors. Thanks for clocking in the comments.
~the angel*
and
naw its just
my ass today. I am the bomb.VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I'm glad you're feeling better! Go forth and kick ass, angel.
-Mike
when she dumped me i did the same thing that you are doing. i threw myself at my career and i started working out constantly. i ended up losing about 20 pounds in the last three months. and i am happier then i've been in a couple of years, but i still miss her y'know?
i have had a very difficult time accepting the fact that all of her sweet and lovey-dovey talk was apparently bull shit, cuz in the end she said that what we had wasn't special. i'm an angry boy when i think of it all.
forget it and move on though right?
good luck on finding an artist, but just remember, us good artists are fucking nutters! i dated three artists in a row... and i'm fucking dying for a NORMALER person now.