low_culture

just now i decided to update my journal. i wanted to record my thoughts on matters that i felt were important to me, and matters i just wanted to get off my chest. my magnificent surgically-enhanced chest. my thoughts take the form of a one-act play:

JEAN-PAUL ENTERS, STAGE LEFT.

HE TOSSES ASIDE A BUSHEL OF FLOWERS HE HAS BEEN CARRYING. HE LOOKS BEDRAGGLED AND...
Read More

why, greetings! say hello to me, goddammit. this is my inaugural address using this impressive Patented Journal Technology....from here on out i hope to religiously keep these precise little diaries that document my exciting, fun-filled life.

six hours ago, i had sex with ashlee simpson.

it was phenomenal.

neither of those last sentences is true. that's the benefit of an inaugural address! i'm just like...
Read More