Just when it was starting to look up..........everything went crashing back down to the deepest region of Hell. For the past 8 months I had been in 'fuck it' mode. I cared not what would happen to me. Now I stand at a crossroad. i may very well lose the very thing that brings me true happiness. Each second that passes brings a little more pain into my world. I really dont know how long I can last like in my current state. Its as if I have been condemned to eternal damnation. All I can do is wait and the waiting game is not fun. Everything I see reminds me of what I may very well lose. Funny thing is I probably dont have anything to worry about yet.........being away from her is almost too much to bear. I dont mean to sound like an EMO kid 'cause I really HATE Emo kids and their music. But when the only bright spot in your life is torn away and you get left in the darkness alone, it hurts......I forsee a huge gaming binge in my immediate future. Its probably the only thing that will give temporary relief to this agony. Its times like these I really need the game soundtrack to HOUSE OF THE DEAD........... 