i hope your new fucker gives you a social disease. You are cruel, and if karma really did come around.... you would be one doomed bitch.
I am so tired of this... Im weak.
I feel like I talk to nobody anymore. All of my friends and associates around here ares till avoiding me.
I notice noone avoids Morg.
You all sure tlaked alot of...
Read More
I am so tired of this... Im weak.
I feel like I talk to nobody anymore. All of my friends and associates around here ares till avoiding me.
I notice noone avoids Morg.
You all sure tlaked alot of...
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
Today has brought with it a painful epiphany.. a new understanding of what isolation actually is.
There was a time, not so long ago, when a dozen people wanted my company.
And I had a handful of what I thought were friends...
And then, my so called relatiosnhip with Morgan ended.
She cheated, and then she started sleeping around and talking mad shit about me....
Read More
There was a time, not so long ago, when a dozen people wanted my company.
And I had a handful of what I thought were friends...
And then, my so called relatiosnhip with Morgan ended.
She cheated, and then she started sleeping around and talking mad shit about me....
Read More
cureelise:
I am shutting down, and I wont make it long for that.
But, really, I am sure it is my fault.
Don't blame yourself for what they are doing. sometimes friends have a hard time dealing with a friends recovery. I learned that when my friends stopped calling and coming to see me . I don't know u , but I worry about u. i feel your pain .
I'm feeling a lot better then what i was. found out that i'm pregnant again and it has brought some happiness into my life. i was really depressed and blaming myself for my miscarriage , even though it wasn't my fault. but still , i couldn't stop blaming myself for it. as for cutting i have to rethink things before i feel the urge to do it and remember that cutting at this time in my life wouldn't be a healthy decision . i have to think about staying healthy for me and the baby. i was going to cut on sunday , but something inside stopped me , then when i got the news on monday i decided that i'm going to focus myself and all of my energy on this pregnancy and pray to every god and goddess that i can think of that i wont miscarry again. these last couple of months have been hell for me , but i think things are going to be getting better. i don't feel like a total fertitily fuck up anymore .
Im actually detoxing from methadone and struggling against this all.. and doing it alone, and it fucking terrifies me. you're not alone i'm here for u. u have a new friend that may be miles away and online, but does give a shit . my husband and i should be making a trip out to detroit soon. we should hang . i wish there was something i could do to make u happy and rid u of some of your pain. next time u feel like cutting write something in my journal instead, and i will do the same.
[Edited on May 26, 2004 3:30AM]
But, really, I am sure it is my fault.
Don't blame yourself for what they are doing. sometimes friends have a hard time dealing with a friends recovery. I learned that when my friends stopped calling and coming to see me . I don't know u , but I worry about u. i feel your pain .
I'm feeling a lot better then what i was. found out that i'm pregnant again and it has brought some happiness into my life. i was really depressed and blaming myself for my miscarriage , even though it wasn't my fault. but still , i couldn't stop blaming myself for it. as for cutting i have to rethink things before i feel the urge to do it and remember that cutting at this time in my life wouldn't be a healthy decision . i have to think about staying healthy for me and the baby. i was going to cut on sunday , but something inside stopped me , then when i got the news on monday i decided that i'm going to focus myself and all of my energy on this pregnancy and pray to every god and goddess that i can think of that i wont miscarry again. these last couple of months have been hell for me , but i think things are going to be getting better. i don't feel like a total fertitily fuck up anymore .
Im actually detoxing from methadone and struggling against this all.. and doing it alone, and it fucking terrifies me. you're not alone i'm here for u. u have a new friend that may be miles away and online, but does give a shit . my husband and i should be making a trip out to detroit soon. we should hang . i wish there was something i could do to make u happy and rid u of some of your pain. next time u feel like cutting write something in my journal instead, and i will do the same.
[Edited on May 26, 2004 3:30AM]
tigress:
....... A Friend....
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
I don't know you but I can definitely empathize with your situation.
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
I don't know you but I can definitely empathize with your situation.
I went to our club tonight.
it was the first time Ive gone out since Andy died. The cuts on my wrists were itching the entire time.
I saw a boy, a boy i like,
He held me for a while. it felt so wonderful.. it feel like forever since Ive simply been held.. especially like that. Ive been hurting so badly and ive been...
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it was the first time Ive gone out since Andy died. The cuts on my wrists were itching the entire time.
I saw a boy, a boy i like,
He held me for a while. it felt so wonderful.. it feel like forever since Ive simply been held.. especially like that. Ive been hurting so badly and ive been...
Read More
cureelise:
things are really really bad here and i'm trying not to turn back to old habits of numbing myself and pain. my uncle is in some deep shit and i'm at a loss of how i should feel or deal with it. it's pretty bad. nothing to do with drunk driving , drugs, or killing someone, but it's up there. i'm really wanting to go back to my habits of ridding myself from the pain , but it would hurt too many people. i thought this might help since u can understand what's it's like to want to numb pain . (My body ached for heroin) it scares me to say this but mine is aching for it now. was thinking of adding some new scars to my body , find a place that i haven't played with yet.
a daytime thunderstorm.
it lifts my mood, whuch is low and gray.
it lifts my mood, whuch is low and gray.
cureelise:
thunderstorms are fun except when your dog is afraid of them and ruins it by barking his head off.
niamh:
Thunderstorms make me happy. Unfortunate that we rarely get them in California.
I feel stolen and sold.
Like, I could cry or sing, for no different end.
I am not seen. You are a new, amazing ball of light. You are untouched with disease and maleficence, as I am..
And as I am, you are not rotting from the inside out. I will end up changing that. I will corrupt you, and dim your light with my...
Read More
Like, I could cry or sing, for no different end.
I am not seen. You are a new, amazing ball of light. You are untouched with disease and maleficence, as I am..
And as I am, you are not rotting from the inside out. I will end up changing that. I will corrupt you, and dim your light with my...
Read More
Im sort of web surfing, i guess.
Beavis and Butthead is on in the other room.
My mood has been slowly degenerating for a few hours... Im not totally sure why.
A lot of thoughts about someone I miss.. it's been just over a year.
Real love dies so slowly.. just don't be in chicago.
But you are. And I am here.
My social life...
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Beavis and Butthead is on in the other room.
My mood has been slowly degenerating for a few hours... Im not totally sure why.
A lot of thoughts about someone I miss.. it's been just over a year.
Real love dies so slowly.. just don't be in chicago.
But you are. And I am here.
My social life...
Read More
saturn1:
do you really blame me? you have abandoned me for someone i warned you about since the first day we met her. i've had things happen to me in the past year that have been as bad as if not worse that was happened to you and you'd know this if you'd return phone calls .... but whatever. it's still reduced to replying back and forth here & i don't even care. life is what it is, and it's not this bad. it's actually pretty good you just need to recognize that.
every time you talk to me I see things so muc fucking clearer.
when people used to say you were evil, and beg me to get the fuck away, I should have.
You see, girl, things are not always as they appear.
Maybe it's a lesson I need as well, but Ive NEVER known anyone who justifies and rationalizes their perceptions more than you.
Part...
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when people used to say you were evil, and beg me to get the fuck away, I should have.
You see, girl, things are not always as they appear.
Maybe it's a lesson I need as well, but Ive NEVER known anyone who justifies and rationalizes their perceptions more than you.
Part...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
saturn1:
pfft i offered you a lot more than she did and i never have betrayed or intentionally hurt you... i'm not sure ive even unintentionally hurt you ... and you still spend more energy on her. thats why im not part of this anymore. im a very loyal person if it's reciprocated and it has not been. since last February, i hope things work out for you, i really do, maybe the person i used to know will reappear.
saturn1:
ive looked at the bigger picture, for over a year now. when are you going to consider me?
I woke today crying.
with every cruel thing you have said, you can't make me fade.
with every cruel thing you have said, you can't make me fade.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
ally:
Don't forget the officical SG after Prom in Cleveland on the 22nd of May! Your not too far!
Check it out here!
Check it out here!
dolorian:
i miss you too. i thought you were going to try and visit me out here? i'd like to make a trip to Detroit for a weekend. i miss all of my old friends...
kisses
kisses
well, Morg's on some mission to fuck my ass double-time, I guess. She's been hard at work talking mad shit about to my own associates, who, it seems, are buying her stories.
Fucked up, considering that I am the one that introduced her to virtualy all of them.
I can't stand this shit. I give in.
Morgan, you are right; I am an infant. I...
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Fucked up, considering that I am the one that introduced her to virtualy all of them.
I can't stand this shit. I give in.
Morgan, you are right; I am an infant. I...
Read More
just tonight, just once, life should be like a movie for me..
I could be here, lying on my bed sobbing, or curled up naked on the floor of my shower.. and YOU come to the condo door.. you knock.
I answer, all ugly and awkward looking. and without regard for cuts or my nasty form or for the tears, you throw yourself around me....
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I could be here, lying on my bed sobbing, or curled up naked on the floor of my shower.. and YOU come to the condo door.. you knock.
I answer, all ugly and awkward looking. and without regard for cuts or my nasty form or for the tears, you throw yourself around me....
Read More
saturn1:
you can call me you know... i would but i feel that i've tried too long without any reciprocation. i'm tired and hurt by it and i deserve better than that. so it's all on you ... if you want to call i'd be more than happy to talk.
"Hurt" whispered the Universe.
And so, the little thing fell in pain. wrapt' in rejection, longing, isolation and torment.
Of the Universe, the Thing asked; "Why am I alone, among so many wicked movements?"
Again, and in response, the Universe whispered "hurt", and the tiny Thing wrenched with sadness, bleeding, regret, and hopelessness.
The Universe curled over the Thing, and gently kissed it, saying; "The...
Read More
And so, the little thing fell in pain. wrapt' in rejection, longing, isolation and torment.
Of the Universe, the Thing asked; "Why am I alone, among so many wicked movements?"
Again, and in response, the Universe whispered "hurt", and the tiny Thing wrenched with sadness, bleeding, regret, and hopelessness.
The Universe curled over the Thing, and gently kissed it, saying; "The...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kira:
why do you say that...i wouldn't call if i didn't care...i'm sorry about you and morgan and you know that i have just been busy lately and haven't had a chance to call...i'll try and call you later after i get out of work...
mistressmissy:
well im sorry to hear about the clutter in your life sweetie. i hope it will clear soon.
im alright i guess other than working with people that dont like me, having to see my ex make out with some fat cunt i hate, having friends die on me. but thats kinda just life ya know?
i hope you feel better *hugs*
im alright i guess other than working with people that dont like me, having to see my ex make out with some fat cunt i hate, having friends die on me. but thats kinda just life ya know?
i hope you feel better *hugs*
i miss you, as a soldier does his bethrothed when away at war.
you dont understand.
I told you i love you.
you said nothing.
you dont understand.
I told you i love you.
you said nothing.
mistressmissy:
how are you doing sweetie?
lv:
:\
I don't know you, nor do you know me, but...just happened to be clicking around SG, thought you looked downright intriguing...read a few posts and...just wanted to say I hope things are going better and looking up. Yeah yeah, cheesy, but...seriously, I kinda felt saddened by your post.
Wish I could help. *hug*
I don't know you, nor do you know me, but...just happened to be clicking around SG, thought you looked downright intriguing...read a few posts and...just wanted to say I hope things are going better and looking up. Yeah yeah, cheesy, but...seriously, I kinda felt saddened by your post.
Wish I could help. *hug*
[Edited on Jun 19, 2004 10:04AM]