yevlax

Spiders Inside Me

(I was looking through my old files tonight in between attempting to draw something, and came across an old Dream Diary from 2007. I've lost a ton of my older writings, actually, and what I do have is scattered fragments. I've had frequent nightmares since my mother died in 2001, long before my recent health crash)



04/24/07-


Spiders Inside Me

This morning I dreamt that I had a long finger growing out of my abdomen, and was getting increasingly concerned about it. It was limp with no feeling, and I kept thinking how ugly it looked to have a finger growing out of me. What would girls think if I brought them over and lifted my shirt? I asked my mom if I could get it removed, but she angrily told me we couldnt afford it, quoting figures for simple things like mole removal.

Over the passage of dream time, the finger slowly retracted back into my stomach and began to look like a mole/nipple/something, all burnt and scratchy. Then it began poking out again, this time appearing like along spider leg, along with another one coming out of my chest. These new appendages moved of their own accord and freaked me so bad that I now begged my mother to take me to the hospital, now fearing that something growing inside me was about to rip its way out of my chest. She refused again. This time I ran out the door, getting into my broken car and frantically trying to start it. It started, and drove a quarter of a mile down the long country road until dying by the bottom of the creek. I then got out and kept running on foot, tears streaming down my face, as the spider legs coming out of my skin got larger and larger.

Then I woke up.