Airing Out My Vagina
I just realized the other day that I spend more time telling you how much of a pain in the ass my brother is than I spend telling you how awesome he is. So in order to rectify this unjustifiable lack of props, I'm going to break down the ways in which my brother is better than yours. This is more...
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I just realized the other day that I spend more time telling you how much of a pain in the ass my brother is than I spend telling you how awesome he is. So in order to rectify this unjustifiable lack of props, I'm going to break down the ways in which my brother is better than yours. This is more...
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VIEW 25 of 50 COMMENTS
clara:
Thanks for the birthday greeting. I choose dog catcher. 
wraith7000:
...wait, I'm the younger brother..but I rule and my brother's dead, so I guess it evens out 
I went to a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class last night and my entire body is fucking through. I'm bruised, cut, broken, and I loved every minute of it. It's been awhile since I've gotten the chance to fight. It's also been awhile since I've spent the better part of a night with my face in a man's crotch under totally sober conditions. That's what I get...
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VIEW 25 of 49 COMMENTS
sixsixty:
ha it's true! it's true! but in that not gay porn way.
Ultimate Gratification
For years I have felt an emptiness in my life that couldn't be explained until recently. During that time, people have been experiencing new ways of living vicariously through their television, and I've lived with a bitter lack of satisfaction the entire time. It seemed like everyone had a show that portrayed the desires they would be fulfilling if they weren't horribly unmotivated...
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For years I have felt an emptiness in my life that couldn't be explained until recently. During that time, people have been experiencing new ways of living vicariously through their television, and I've lived with a bitter lack of satisfaction the entire time. It seemed like everyone had a show that portrayed the desires they would be fulfilling if they weren't horribly unmotivated...
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VIEW 25 of 41 COMMENTS
misterusername:
You should have put the "faggot" at the front of the sentance. It just looks like if you're asking me if I'm gay otherwise.
Ong Bak forever!
Ong Bak forever!
waxangel:
I just watched Ultimate Fighter where everyone got way too wasted.
What a train wreck.
But funny.
What a train wreck.
But funny.
Super Damage Deposit Bros.
I blame video games for the current state of my once bachelorific apartment. My younger brother's generation has been raised in a digital fantasy world where smashing mundane everyday objects holds the very real possibility of rewarding them with super-human strength granting mushrooms or electrified pet monsters. Very rarely does a game depict its characters walking into a store and purchasing...
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I blame video games for the current state of my once bachelorific apartment. My younger brother's generation has been raised in a digital fantasy world where smashing mundane everyday objects holds the very real possibility of rewarding them with super-human strength granting mushrooms or electrified pet monsters. Very rarely does a game depict its characters walking into a store and purchasing...
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VIEW 25 of 67 COMMENTS
mistersatan:
Dear slut,
I'd be interested in writing for your site, that shaved goat thinger. They still looking for hacks?
Yours in Jesus,
Debbie
I'd be interested in writing for your site, that shaved goat thinger. They still looking for hacks?
Yours in Jesus,
Debbie
Me vs. the Update Button: Leprachaun in the Hood
If it were possible for a computer to know the true meaning of the word "rejection", mine would have already tried to get my attention by slitting its wrists right after a failed attempt to lure me into a relationship with a fake pregnancy. As it stands right now, my computer can only convey emotion through...
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If it were possible for a computer to know the true meaning of the word "rejection", mine would have already tried to get my attention by slitting its wrists right after a failed attempt to lure me into a relationship with a fake pregnancy. As it stands right now, my computer can only convey emotion through...
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VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
cineman:
RAID array dough? I'm baking that cake as we speak, my friend.
Great entry as per usual - fucking showoff.
Great entry as per usual - fucking showoff.
johnclement:
Now I feel bad that when I met you, all I said was "You have the funniest journal blah blah etc."
Welcome, fools, to my holiday! I am Count Credulous Von Newyear, keeper of all the lies you spoon-feed into your own brain's mouth. Lies that range from the convincing (hey, maybe you will shed those unwanted pounds this year) to the absolutely ridiculous (you're an alcoholic, deal with it). My holiday is celebrated by the people of the world with a surge of new gym...
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VIEW 25 of 55 COMMENTS
keith:
I AM going to shed those pounds this year. 
I sincerely wish I was in a position to tell all of you how my vacation went, but for reasons to be filed under either blacking out or downright cheekiness, I'm afraid I can't. Not the really good parts, anyway.
But let me just say that when you drunkenly stumble onto a train full of people that are on their way to work and you're...
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But let me just say that when you drunkenly stumble onto a train full of people that are on their way to work and you're...
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VIEW 25 of 36 COMMENTS
clara:
Ditto, Professor.
menotyou:
So...should I actually strive for 'coma good time' or not? I'm conflicted as to how much damage constitutes a good time before that line is crossed?
Ahhhhhhhhh
You know that invigorating feeling you get when you quit a job? I'm having sex with that feeling right now. It's well earned too, since I've spent the last two weeks busting my ass to get that fine motha' fucka' in the sack. If this feeling had foreplay, it would be all those little things you take care of in order to gradually erase...
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You know that invigorating feeling you get when you quit a job? I'm having sex with that feeling right now. It's well earned too, since I've spent the last two weeks busting my ass to get that fine motha' fucka' in the sack. If this feeling had foreplay, it would be all those little things you take care of in order to gradually erase...
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VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
mercie:
I want to see said martial arts showdown.
Let me know the date and time, and we'll sell tickets, I'll promote it here in Baltimore.
How was your Christmas and New Year's?
xoxo
Let me know the date and time, and we'll sell tickets, I'll promote it here in Baltimore.
How was your Christmas and New Year's?
xoxo
misterusername:
Bitch, it's movie time. What night this week?
Something has been happening lately that I never even imagined was possible: I've been getting hit on by very large, very aggressive gay men. It's not like this is the first time I've been approached by a man who probably imagined our conversation finishing in the bathroom, but those guys were one metallic tiara away from being She-Ra: Princess of Power. And why not? I'm...
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VIEW 25 of 54 COMMENTS
ampersandwich:
Nice to meet you last night, youre a wonderfully strange person
Y~!
Y~!
freyja__:
the pinnacle.
Does this Chip on My Shoulder Make Me Look Fat?
What the fuck is wrong with everyone? Don't they realize that every day their opinions go unheard, the assholes in the world attain more and more power? Now don't get too excited there, lefty. I'm not talking about corporate power struggles or fighting for a better government. I'm talking about the little everyday assholes that...
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What the fuck is wrong with everyone? Don't they realize that every day their opinions go unheard, the assholes in the world attain more and more power? Now don't get too excited there, lefty. I'm not talking about corporate power struggles or fighting for a better government. I'm talking about the little everyday assholes that...
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VIEW 25 of 39 COMMENTS
al:
You ARE a goddamn hero.
mydogfarted:
I understand. One time I was standing on line at the grocery store and the guy in front of me was being an asshole and yelling at the cashier about something. He was going on and on until finally I said loudly and matter-of-factly "SHUT THE FUCK UP!". He of course turned his simple minded anger towards me. After telling him what a fucking asshole he was, crazyanimallady had to get between us to stop me from pounding the shit out of this old man. I believe it was all because a price was 10 cents higher then he thought it should be.