Monday Dec 08, 2003

0
....my turkey cock is ragged from so much fucking.

....from now on please call me turkeycockmegistus.

....anyone got any clove oil?

kiss
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sicily:
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!! MY VAGINA FELL OFF!!!!. i soaked it in clove oil to heal the bruises (just like you said), but, it just dissintegrated...now it is nothing but a bloody gash frown please help.

[Edited on Dec 10, 2003 12:52AM]
sicily:
noope.
dead. sober.


btw, your anus is bleeding eeek

Wednesday Dec 03, 2003

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IN CASE ANYONE WAS WONDERING,

SG-Sicily smells like putrefied walrus dick.


And WHY, you ask?

Ask her yourself.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
sicily:
sorry guys. i killed trismegistus.

hee hee hee. twas a delightful bbq!
naja_haje:
*snif*
smells more like a ferret infested blow hole.

but that's just me.

*snif* *snif*
and you smell like a gangrenous manatee ass.

Wednesday Nov 26, 2003

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i'm flying to chicago in 8 hours to have family fucking funtime with my fucking family.

don't choke on any wishbones, retards.

skull
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
fuji:
penis lines. they terminate at the penis. *drools*

no one can know about the 58.5 hours, though. its way too hot. very dangerous.
suicidesmitty:
As Fuji's psychiatrist, I need to ask you to stop taunting her with painful memories lest she ruin her conditional release by eating another man whole. She doesn't even stop to spit out the bones. She may look like a little peanut, but the girl's got a hunger like I've never seen.

Sunday Nov 23, 2003

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Grasshopper: which irks you more, wrongness or inaneness?

Mantis: inanity is a much greater sin in the eyes of Entropy.

Grasshopper: i see. wanna make out like hardcore?

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
juliana:
:::CHOMP:::

(don't think "love bite", or anything as inane as that...

... think Cape Fear)
black_tar_heroin:
the one with Marky Mark wink

Saturday Nov 22, 2003

0
39 F.
79% humidity.
Overcast.
Slight wind.

I fucking love this weather.


And if you have a problem with it I personally invite you to go get yourself fucked in the ass by the millennia-old goat god aka Pan.

kiss
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
black_tar_heroin:
and i would respect the fuck out of you
sicily:
what?! you have a fucking problem with flying squirrels?!?
okay, maybe they only vaguely amuse me...

Wednesday Nov 19, 2003

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Poetry Wednesday eh?

Here are two poems I wrote about Jesus of Nazareth getting fucked in the ass by Pan the goat god.

1.
Pan, Pan,
he aims to please us.
I once saw that bastard
buggering old Jesus.

2.
A sitcom older
than Ozzie and Harriet:
J-Bob getting Pan'd
by Jackson Iscariot.


kiss
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
madigan:
I've come to the realization there just aren't enough crazy people in this town, and if there are, they must be hiding under rocks or at Wendy's.

The restaurant does, however, attract the attention of one of these crazy people and no, it's not by cunning use of shiny objects -- though the antique decor might say otherwise. It was there long before! Many moons ago when we had the fuckawful karaoke, she would scurry onstage to sing 'THRILLER' in the most monotone voice while gettin' down with her bad self. It was a sight to see yet I still wanted to claw my eyes out. Yes, Marilyn is a drunk and her smell still goes unrivaled. She often wears outrageous hats, Austin 3:16 t-shirts, and shouts "Hell Yeah!" (but we encouraged it, tee hee). One night after work, my sister and I spotted Marilyn speaking to a street sign.

puke kiss puke
juliana:
it's also hot when you get pissed off.

Wednesday Nov 12, 2003

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"Could it be fate?" I asked.

"Fuck fate right in the ass!" shrieked the goat god Pan, then added, "and I would too, if I could only find that pucker..."






kiss
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
sicily:
miss flux bites. miao!!
madigan:
It was a line from a movie, FUCKTARDO.

That's your new 'Rico Suave' name, you dig?

Speaking of fuck, what the fuck are you talking about concerning Modesto, San Francisco, and the Spedtastic Sicily? I think I'm starting to believe in karma. I was almost sat another fucking 'tard today. Thankfully, they kept walking/wheeling.

*shakes an angry fist at Sicily and her drooling minions*

kiss

[Edited on Nov 19, 2003 8:16PM]

Tuesday Nov 04, 2003

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Notice to all 8 or so of the fucking fucktards that regularly post inane comments to my journal:

Throughout this foul month of November I will be participating in NaNoWriMo, which means I won't be checking in here very often.

However, my neglect of your pathetic souls gives you no excuse to do otherwise than exactly what I command you to do, which is...
Read More
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
madigan:
*hangs WELCOME TO PSYCHOLAND banner*

How's the writing going, anyway?

I don't have anything interesting to say right now, not even an isult to your non-gay-ness.

So, make me laugh.

*drools*
madigan:
If I want you to make me laugh, you WILL make me laugh, fuckass!

NOW WRITE SOMETHING FUNNY:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.

That dress is great -- don't make me remove your eyelashes with my bare hands.

Friday Oct 31, 2003

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I met a mad witchy
incanting her spells
on the road between Kells
and its twelve midnight bells

"Listen" she said
"hold fast - do not run
the hour's begun
so let's have us some fun"

The next thing I knew
I was flown in the air
and the mad witchy's hair
became blonde solar flare

We rattled and raced
through the blackness of sky...
Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
naja_haje:
Your poem is very nice by the way smile

The Shaggs seem like hot trash, thanks!

AND... Conkingshitoffuckmountiangratulations!
sicily:
hey you fucking nasty ass felcher! i can smell your fucking sweaty ball sac from here...soap m'dear...it works wonders kiss

yes, reagan is quite mentally challenged, but she only talks about it because she knows it turns you on...and she can get away with being a pedaphile (being a retard and all, how can she know any better than to fondle those little pee pees?!)

what would you do if you woke up one morning and found a dead cAckroach in your scrotum?

oh...nevermind, that must happen all the time to folk like you...

Thursday Oct 30, 2003

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fucktard n. a fucking retard. Also fucktarded adj. fucking retarded.

Examples of usage:

Sicily is a fucking fucktard and I look forward to personally kicking her fucktarded ass.


Q: So where the Devil is old trismegistus going on Halloween?
A: He goin' git him some play is where he goin'! BOOM!

Excerpt from my theme song for this Halloween eve:

you're gonna suffer
you're gonna...
Read More
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
studentochaos:
Not allowed unless 35, what are you a fucktard? If that is the law it certainly is not enforced. More importantly, I am in the states 'til May. I got my account for this while in China and I am back until I get my next contract for some other fucktard.
madigan:
Let's create a cute scenario: Potentially dirty girl and I get a little down and dirty ourselves. I don't think contracting a vaginal plague is included in the phrase "get some".

This phantom piece of ass is from my town which is even MORE scary considering most -- if not all -- of the non-heterosexual females are fucking insane.

Visiting? I've no idea frown

They ought to make a :fucktard: icon for Sicily.

Wednesday Oct 22, 2003

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And now a few words from my yellow feather boa.
Boa, you have the floor.

"Fuck you."

OK.

"Fuck you."

Is that all?

"Fuck you."

Well all right then.
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
acheron:
oh good, good your betrothed is alive...(i was worried i resembled someone dead or ...i dunno, traumatizing) and whyyyy oh god whyyyy is your betrothed in minneapolis? and how am i like her?
studentochaos:
I see you make a funny post. I come here to compliment. I find much chaos. Your journal is like ten conversations all at once none really having to do with your post. How excellent can you get? Answer: Fuck the boa up its skanky little ass!

Monday Oct 20, 2003

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So much to say, so little space to say it in.
































































































I guess my song will go unsung forever.

BOO FUCKING HOO
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
acheron:
meeeow indeed! but youuu are far away and not very possible to strip for. that entry was me needing to outlet some of the hormonalness going on for me.
madigan:
Re: Lots n' lots of words thingy

Thank you. I done got learned. That thar's an awful lot of writtin' you hafta do, boy. Better git to it.

:sped:

After the Rasputina escapade of rude + scary kids with badly applied make-up, I'm looking forward to the mass of hippies and raging bull-dykes I will encounter at the Ani DiFranco show. I'll fit right in with my Patchouly oil.

p.s. tell Sicily she forgot her Scooby Doo lunch box in the 'tard class -- and that it was filled with a foul pea-like substance.

puke biggrin puke
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