So I'm back... again. I always get the urge to return after I am around a computer again for a certain length of time... and wow the new girls are lovely and I am excited to meet new people again... my world is tempestuous right now, I can't even really tell if I am happy or drowning. maybe both. been thinking lots about webs and...
Read More
Read More
well, I guess I'm back to SG, after a rather extended break for traveling and lack of funds. So much new stuff! very exciting... I feel I am about to have some sort of breakthrough, whether that may be emotional or physical or whatever, so I'm trying to expand my contact with the outside world in order to get as much input to inform my...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
beaky:
happy bday!!!
6underground:
Thank you ever so much for you comment in reply to my Sex+Ex question. I really appreciate it and you spoke a lot of sense.
I don't think I will have sex with him again. He told me he's fallen out of love with me and just wanted to get laid. I'm upset at this but I guess it is time to move on isn't it?
Oh well...
I hope you have a lovely dinner!!
I don't think I will have sex with him again. He told me he's fallen out of love with me and just wanted to get laid. I'm upset at this but I guess it is time to move on isn't it?
Oh well...
I hope you have a lovely dinner!!
so i decided yesterday... I am going to Bogota, Colombia, to learn Spanish and work in a law firm. I think it will be good for me to go somewhere completely new, to challenge myself and to do something completely unexpected. I had my first psychic reading the other night (not sure if I believe in that stuff, but it's a good way to give...
Read More
Read More
tara81:
Wow, good luck on whatever you deciede to do! 
randomdent:
Bogota, Colombia is really far away...Won't you miss portland?
I am going back to pdx this afternoon... looking forward to my return. Time to start some new things, like capoiera, and doing more art. hmmm...
mei:
ja, wouldn't trade my brain for dumb happiness... also am thinking of going off of meds because it'll make me smarter (i've lost my memory, which doesn't help the intelligence factor).. but it'll make me reeeeeeeal erratic. oh well..
you call me when you get here so we can go do stuffs.
you call me when you get here so we can go do stuffs.
I was just in DC for the anti-war protest this weekend; it was my first protest and a truly amazing experience, although several aspects of it made me angry (i.e. little media coverage, dilution of the message with other issues...). But the real point is that I managed to have a totally random sexual encounter with someone I met once or twice in college in...
Read More
Read More
lundona:
right on with protest! Miss PDX, love here to death will ya..but love my little Eugene too
soph:
from what I have seen of Eugene, I like it, too... lot's of cool people there.
I am writing this with my mom on her computer right next to me; very weird!
gil:
good times
I just saw Velvet Goldmine for the first time; now I see why so many of you chose it for your favourite movie - such a beautiful, bittersweet fairytale. I'm still sad, but it's that kind of ache that comes from beauty...you know?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
nathanfr:
Appreciating beauty only seems to bring me pain...
I still like to think of myself as an artist, but I never seem to produce much of anything. everyone says I'm good, but how to make myself believe it? and why won't anyone ever buy anything, if I'm so goddamn good? I have so many ideas in my head right now, but my confidence is too low to execute them. I feel almost ashamed...
Read More
Read More
I have been having the most horrible nightmares... sleeping loads but never feeling rested. I am miserable. I feel so empty...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
deebee:
it's good that you feel empty after what happened last week. that means you are for real
don't try to change yourself either for petes sake, you read good books already...
don't try to change yourself either for petes sake, you read good books already...
soph:
thanks, everyone...you make me feel a little better. At least I'm not crying all day, every day anymore. I know it's wrong and self-destructive, but somehow I feel guilty because the emptiness is overriding the pain. It's so hard not to torture myself, to make myself proud of who I am, or even to know who I am...
I'm a new-ish member, and I suddenly felt like writing for the first time... I'm starting to feel close to you all, so I guess I'll share. I was reading everyone's happy new year entries, and it makes me even more depressed that I had the worst holiday ever. I got dumped by my fiance on new year's eve, and I've been crying all week....
Read More
Read More
holdensolo:
Sorry to hear your holiday was blah.
Forget him. He's a heartbreaker. He'll do it everytime. He did the same thing to me!!!
Forget him. He's a heartbreaker. He'll do it everytime. He did the same thing to me!!!
nathanfr:
All these depressing starts to a new year... You arent alone.
Want to rebuild yourself? Do what you said... make some new friends. Go find some people who make you feel really good about yourself... you can find em milling around at PSU. Dont think about your ex, even if you feel like you have to... it'll only make you cry more. Ive got tons more of advice... if you want it. ha
Cheers to people with shitty beginnings to the new year and newish members. Time for another rum and coke...
Want to rebuild yourself? Do what you said... make some new friends. Go find some people who make you feel really good about yourself... you can find em milling around at PSU. Dont think about your ex, even if you feel like you have to... it'll only make you cry more. Ive got tons more of advice... if you want it. ha
Cheers to people with shitty beginnings to the new year and newish members. Time for another rum and coke...