I didn’t write about this on the day of because it was a Friday, and I was sick as hell (still kind of am), plus I figured being the weekend and all, no one would exactly see the post…
But January 27th was my 19th anniversary of being a SuicideGirl. My first set is now as old as I was when I came onto this site. I was certainly a baby goth @Sid.
My days here on SG have seen their ups and downs, and with so many new girls around, I’m not sure if I’ll ever shoot again or have another set bought (from either side of the camera), but I would love the chance to do either. Just seems too many bad things getting in my way. Illness (I suffer from a chronic painful illness called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and it makes it difficult for me to live a “normal” life), divorce, moving… I’m still in Colorado, but my life has gotten so lonely in the past few years, and after the way things went with my ex, I have a very hard time trusting people. It doesn’t help that I feel like the few friends I do have don’t really care all that much about me or will help me when I need it.
I could use meeting some new people, I’m sure. Now that I’m just about settled in my lil baby house with my fur kids who just can’t seem to stay little, and I’m getting some more footing on the ground, although the way my family treats me and the way bad luck hangs over me like a cloud, I feel like I just can’t seem to get the hang of life, even at my old ass age.
Eris the micro panther is kind of cat-sized now.
Phoebe is still a fat-sized Bengal derp. Maybe even a little fatter since there’s not a whole lot of room in my one bedroom Victorian house to run in.
And Penny is a master blanket thief because she’s been cold in the tiny home. I don’t blame her.
Right now, one of the outside pipes is frozen because it’s been negative out, so I have no water. Plenty of space heaters going though.
I’m mostly okay, except the lack of pictures I take and the fact that I haven’t dyed my hair in months. Was gonna this past weekend, but I need water to do so. Just cross your fingers for me that this all just solves itself because I can’t take having moved to a 3rd place with water issues I had nothing to do with. I need other people to wish good luck for me because I can’t get any on my own anymore, it seems.
I just want to feel pretty again and hope that I’m not hopelessly lost in the sea of being alone again.
x0x0,
☠️-Sid-☠️
