This past year has been really relentless and dragging on with nothing but heartbreak. Why am I still so loyal to those who hurt me so much? I’m not even asking for much. Not a public apology, but maybe a private one since I’m not the one who made up fake accounts to stalk, hurt others, and spread lies. If I were really as bad as the rumors about me said I am, then why am I still here?
I guess I just am back to being hurt since one of my foundations is now gone. I’m losing my footing and the thing that hurts most of all is that this place that I love sometimes makes things feel a bit worse. I’ll never get the trust I once had back because of some nobody’s lies, and I doubt I’ll ever get a chance to be who I really am ever again because of the same lies...
I’m just so tired of being stuck in a cycle of sadness that seems never ending, and that also seems like no one cares to help me out of. I miss smiling. I miss being happy and having fun. I miss hiding my pain behind a thin layer of fake joy.
I’d love a break that actually feels like one. A pool, a hot tub, and not being in charge of it all.
I would just love this one gift of solace and relaxation or even just good faith and love because right now I hate myself for things I didn’t even do...
Why do I always blame myself for other people hurting me?
☠️Sid☠️
