OPERATION FRANK
So this is what we are thinking. We would like to bring him to your place on Tuesday night next week, and stay for a little bit while he (hides) adjusts.. if he comes out before we leave, cool, if not.. cool, but we want to just allow him the opportunity to adjust with us there ( we are crazy cat people) . We aren’t leaving until noon on Wednesday, so if things go absolutely shit balls crazy and it looks like things might be a bad idea, we can swoop in and pack him up- and take the little bastard with us to {other midwestern state} (even though that’d be a pain in the ass, we are leaving it open as an option if need be).. but I don’t think that’ll happen b/c {name of friend's cat removed, for her anonymity) is super chill and so is Frank.
So assuming it all works out… the pompous Frankie eats his raw chickens once in the morning and once at night we usually feed him around 8pm. He shall receive a ‘heaping’ Tablespoon… though he will try to convince you it should be an entire cup. We of course shall provide probably two or three ‘bins’ of the raw chicken for Frank, one for the fridge the other for the freezer ( until you need it) that should be enough.
He likes to scream sometimes and demand his food anywhere within the hour before feeding, if said screaming drives you insane, feel free to feed him sooner to ease your nerves.
He WILL eat any and all food that may be out for {friend's kitty's name} (dry or otherwise), so I am not sure how you will want to approach that situation.
Also, he will eat the human foods, ( ANY human foods- he once at a Jalepeno). He licks pans... he eats anything he can get in his gluttonous little mouth. But he sometimes gets sick and barfs when he eats human foods, so it’ll take a little bit of paying attention to. But again, I’m sure it’ll be fine.. feel free to lock him away in the bathroom while you cook if that’s easier. ( He once stole a chicken breast from the pan I was cooking it in).
Finally, Frank ( V.I.P. style) uses ‘wood chips’ for litter, rather than ya know the normal kind ( it’s actually pretty amazing and cheap, I’d recommend it for any kitty).. but we will bring a box of that for him to do his business in as well.
HAha. What a ridiculously high maintenance cat and situation.. feel free to bail now if it seems overwhelming. Otherwise, if you choose to accept this challenge your reward shall be either cash money or the beer of champions, your choice.