This morning, I am not feeling all that well. I have so much going on in my life in all aspects and I am in a real funk. Besides all the drama and legal action that I am going through with work, I was biding my time this morning catching up between here and another site when I realized that I have a need that I have been missing and I have been missing it for a long time. It is the need to feel wanted or needed. It has been a long time since I have felt that someone was thinking of me, that someone wanted me around, that someone wanted me for me. I have a lot of friends on here that I am truly tankful and grateful fir. Women whom I would never trade our friendship nor their trust in me for anything in the world. But its been a long, long time since I have felt that I was desired by someone. When I was a bouncer, I had some women flirt with me, however it had to be blatant. I am not the kind of person who picks up on that very easily. I use to have one woman who was married come in every once in a while and be flirty, touching my back or leaning in to whisper to me. Her eyes would dance and a hint of a smile would make me weak. there use to be someone from this site whom use to send me messages that she was thinking of me, that she wanted me to come see her, and tell me about all the places that she wanted me to see and visit when I was there. Maybe I am just to old for this dream to be anymore. I don't know.
I want to feel weak again. I want to feel that someone is thinking of me, that someone wants my opinion, that someone wants my attention. I want to be touched again. Just a simple fingertips or nails gently caressing my scalp, or my cheek. Someone who finds all the sensitive spots on my back or sides. I want to breath someone in again, just breath in how good they smell fresh from a shower, their hair still damp and their body cool to the touch. I want to be that dance in their eyes or their hint of a smile again. There is nothing more intoxicating than the feeling of someone's gaze from across a room or even as close as my outreached hand. The feeling of someone's breath on my neck as they lean in to whisper even the most public thing in private. I wish to be someone's memory and not just someone's moment.
I wish, I want
