norma_jean

reasons for abandonment//

[-] work 40-55 hours a week.

[-] eviction from old apartment due to breakage of lease.

[-] hospital trip.

[-] denial of school loans due to horrible credit history from old hospital trip and shitty credit cards, and the fact my co-signer [mom] is not a u.s. citizen.

[-] insane stalker guy that left roses and wine on my doorstep, and that calls me everyday and basically lurks everywhere i go.

[-] extreme lonliness and depression from all of the above plus more you could ever imagine.

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i know i know, "it could always be worse," but i just can't see it that way. i know what i'm capable of, the things i should be doing. somehow in the past year i've let all of my personal expecations for my life, and where i want to be with it, go to complete hell. i've abandoned all of my ideals somehow, and i need to find a way to get back to the person i'm supposed to be.

to all the real life friends i have on here, if i've ignored you or sold out or anything not very friendly, i apologize. i've become such a recluse i don't even know how to exist in a social setting anymore.

hopefully i can dig myself out of this pitiful hole.

wish me luck, kids.

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any of you that care to stay in touch with me, add me on myspace. i don't come around these parts much anymore. [i'm not leaving the site, just don't go on it much.]