m_bethany

You are one prolific writing motherfucker.

Been a long time since I've hurt the way you are now but I still remember it clearly. Unfortunately, it just takes time to get over these things, and a one night stand or two doesn't hurt either.

I've learned that some relationships are like a bad drug addiction you just refuse to let go. I'm sure you're thinking about all the good times you spent with this guy, but people who care about you don't handle things this way.

You'll have withdrawls for awhile but, eventually, life returns to normal and your heart, although maybe scarred, will be healthy again. Just remember, no good relationship happens outside your safety zone. That's what makes it good.

That sucks! I'm sorry sweetie. First of all, I just don't get the whole S&M thing... i think anyone who is as deeply into as he sounds (not just for the experimentation) has other issues that he is using this form of non-sex to release. But also it sounds like there was more lacking from the relationship. I mean taking from what little is there it sounds like the relationship was based more on the physical than emotional, otherwise he would have been as giving to your needs as you attempted to be to his, and not just breaking up with you and leaving things unsaid on numerous occassions. As much as it hurts now, i've found break-ups are often for the best. You have to go through quite a few people to find the one that is truly compatible with you for the long haul of life. You are beautiful, intelligent, and strong, and you will find that person you diserve to be with who will treat you like a princess.

-Kevin

"I am with you all.

I have not had play in 2 weeks, and I am a hottie.
Where is the justice in the world?" -Angel0Diablo

Yes, you are a hottie. Fortunately, the lack of play injustice is generally easily fixable for hotties.

Capitalism's finest is a fairly low bar. The Bum Fights are a proper metaphor for much of capitalist society.

Anyway, great profile. You are rad.

I think that is kinda funny.....not that it happened outside your door but the BUM FIGHT thing...we have "poo dollar" down here..where you put dog poop on a dollar bill and set it on the sidewalk and watch people pick it up>>>haha...good times...

Oh and as you already know...I do not agree with your political views..and that is cool and all...but the effects on the economy are due to what is called "Lag Time" :The time between the occurrence of a phenomenon and its resulting effect.: Meaning all the economic shit that is going on now is a direct effect of what Clinton did during his terms in office...that is just the way shit works and yes the economy was good during his administration because of Bush senior....I am all for capitalism...with out it there would be no jobs and with out jobs there would be no economic growth...sorry but that is just the way I feel...Have a graet day...and stay away from that boy...some people are just toxic...

Be well, Angel.

Go get some ice cream

You are of a mythical level of maturity and intelligence if you can admit that this break-up could be your fault. The thing is, are you sure you're not being too hard on yourself?

I've delt with depression for 10 of my 20 years on earth. I've been in theropy for 2. As I'm rounding the bend to my recovery, I'm finding that my inner perception of the situations going on around me were ten times as negitive as they were in reality. Everything around me was so black back then. From my new healthier view point, some of the same problems arise (issues with parents, a girl I can't get, another failed college course) but they're not as bad anymore. I find that I've developed tools to deal with the bullshit going an around me.

Enough about me, though.

With the amount of emotion you've invested in this man, your present situation must be darker than anything I've ever experianced. Perhaps I can still provide insight, though.

Honostly (and I know this is NOT what you want to hear) I would give it some time. Create a buffer around this situation, so a week from now you can look back on it without as much emotion clouding your vision. When you're very sad, nothing is ever as it seems. Use this week of 'down time' to heal, to regain some footing, and to plan out what you'd like to resolve. Afterall, it's never too late to repair a broken relationship and fix your mistakes. Might as well hang back and wait til you're better equiped to do these things, right?

I'd like to think I know what I'm talking about, having delt with depression and the like. Still, I understand if you read the above and think to yourself "what a bunch of bullshit." Afterall, the best person to solve your shit is you, but I still think the best place to start is a week from now when you're feeling better.

I know you'll get it figured out. I also think you'll get the guy back in the end. If you really love him, it'll eventually work out.

K, bye
-Mike

(haha I didn't check this post for typos either)

JSpooky makes an excellent point. Right now, walk away. Basically, if your ex believes you are trying to control him and the people around you, the only thing you can do to show him/them that you're not trying to control them is to take yourself out of the equation for a period of time. Not a day or two, at least a week or more. It will be the hardest thing for you to do, but what he's saying is he wants space. Right now, he doesn't want explanations or to talk, he just wants space. If he texts you or leaves you messages, ignore them (he may want space, but like most guys he doesn't want to be the villain either). Get back into a routine, hit the gym, go take care of yourself. You need to recharge and refocus, and while you yearn to reach out to him, don't do it now. Concentrate on yourself. It will hurt, but if you're going to ever have a relationship with him (friendship or intimate), you and him need the space. You two need the time apart. Don't even worry about that other chick, let her play her games. Trust him that he won't fall for them, but if he does, then there's your answer.

I hope this helps. I, too, am no expert so this is only a suggestion. Take care and be well.

what up freak you know we are so close from each other you should shoot down here to Typhons and have some sushi with me.

Relationships suck, eh? The back and forth shit is a killer. Still, it's better than being alone.

You'll get it figured out, I'm sure.

Let me know what you think of Moore's new film. I still need to see it!

That is some serious writing wow your not on any thing. Naw not you. take care lov oh and yes me and my girl will take you up on that offer.

I am trying to download Fahrenheit 9/11 off of emule, but if it doesn't turn out to be it I will be going to see it too. I have been looking forward to it since I heard about it about two months ago. I am as anti-Bush as someone can be. If Bush gets reelected I am likely moving to Canada, because I forsee a nucleur bomb being used on the US if he has second term.

I also agree with the government controlled/issued marijuana, with the revenue we could get from it we could pay off the national debt, provide free health care and free college educations to every american citizen. Hell we would still have enough money left over to likely finance NASA forever!!

I personally hav given up weed, but how can something less harmful then both cigarettes and alcohol (both of which I don't do either) be a bad thing.

Why thank you!!! Nice to meet you hun...

You're right, it is pretty embarassing these days. I'm going to have to vote, for the first time in my life. Believe me, things have to be pretty bad before I'll get off my ass to do something..... but here we are.

very confused; but it sounds like my kind of fun! (I think)

Dude, I love reading your entries. Good luck with the drama, but keep posting! Sounds like you're going to have to do some flirting with the guy with the pics. Get the pics, then dump his ass.

I wouldn't be so nice, pay rent or your ass is on the street, although I don't know how attached you are to this person. But your right, that must be where you get your nickname

I agree it's simple don't let people get away with it cause if they had their own aparment the land lord would not stand for it. Tell them babe pay my bitch.

Pics...

OK, I'm better now.

wuz up freakness how are you doing?

THE NEW BR IS BAD ASS OF COURSE YOU CANT BEAT THE OLD WITH THE NEW BUT IT SURE COMES CLOSE

I've been listening to Tom for years. How can we like such a prick like that?

Gently wake me up when this dream is over, OK? Oh my god!!!