kozmikgirl

Sux about the poison oak. I hate that stuff. I hope you are feelin' better. I have thought about you a lot while I was away from SG. I would ask Alpo to tell me what was going on with you. He kept me updated.

My favorite is overcast too. It makes me feel safe. I like when I can wear at least three layers of clothing. Preferrably one of them puffy. It's all sunny and shit here. I mean, if I felt better and if I didn't kind of, in my lesser moments, hate the way my body looks right now, I'd enjoy the sun a little more. But right now it's just kind of reminding me of all the well people out there doing the athletic stuff I used to do and not ever having to worry about their medicine and shit.

Dood. It got pretty bad while I was away from SG. I started having these bad panic attacks and stuff. Had to go to the emergency room and everything. It was bunk.

And the worst part was that because I wasn't "harming" myself, none of the "help" at my HMO could kick in. So finally I cut this tiny little heart into the inside of my wrist and called them back and said "yeah, yeah, I'm bleeding" and then they finally admitted me and gave me some anti-anxiety meds (or some shit..who knows anymore).

The meds really helped me though. I'm pretty damn good right now - keeping up with my classes and going days without nightmares. The good thing about all of it is that it spurred me to start talking more in therapy and my therapist did the coolest thing! She was like "you know, aks, you've really had some very traumatic experiences in your life. Your life has been a pretty tough one. Why don't you do some EMDR?" (EMDR is a desensitizing treatment that they use to help combat vets get over their PTSD).

It was the best thing ever. I mean, somebody finally validated my experiences in life, you know? Somebody finally said it might make sense for me to feel the way I do.

I think just having that one exchange with her is going to make things a lot easier in the future.

Be dilligent about the calamine lotion!

No. Overthinking sucks for me BIG TIME!! But inspirational words nontheless......

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ouch...well, sarcasm is always a little comforting, at least...

I don't buy many cd's any more either. Burn, Burn, Burn.

Made a ringtone!? How industrious! IF I had a cell phone I'd go with a regular ring tone. I always smile when out of nowhere I hear a song go off in someones pocket. It's funny to me.

Speaking of ringtones, I heard a while ago that last year it was a 500 million dollar business.

I'm sorry you feel crappy. I don't have anything helpful to say because I really like being alone. Tonight I went out with some friends and had a good time but I hardly ever do that. I hope you feel better.

Ya dig Wizards huh? You should see his staff...

I'm gonna try put the name in here as a member name and see if it works....And the results are Shadiadibiz. Guess i/we won't know until I post this. I'd never seen alt.com either, gotta love the kink.

I saw your myspace page and it was very cool indeed! Is it the bestest? that's yet to be determined Is that your eye in the background? I bet the nails hurt but the barbed wire was only a minor annoyance. The action profile picture was a nice touch. Cool and pretty. The thing I liked best was the lil stars moving around with the pointer icon thing. I felt as i moved it around i was going to either put a spell on whatever was clicked or knock it senceless like old cartoons. Enough about the giant that is myspace.

I look forward to seeing your paintings if you choose to share them. What do you use? paint, pencil, pastel, ash or other stuff. Clearly I'm not the artist in my family. That's my sister. I've been told when I was little and it was "art time" I would just scribble stuff saying that it didn't matter if you stayed inside the lines or not because the faster you got it done the quicker I could go and play. This is hearsay though.

Wow! I wrote much more than I'd planned to. Ending.......Now.

P.S. Maybe not the end of the comment or myspace remark. I'm a nervous and anxious person too.

Edit: Well so much for the member name experiment. No dice.



[Edited on Apr 22, 2006 2:31AM]

I need a shrink. And a drink. Maybe a drink with a shrink.

Okay so the votes are in: it's a unanimous turnout for Susan Sarandon. (although I did think your "perfect combination of both" was pretty fabulous, I must say!)

So what's up with this "shadiadibiz?" Are you getting grief from this individual?

That's funny, you made me LOL!

A T4 is a 'Statement of Remuneration Paid'. What bugs me is that I NEVER throw anything away. But a week ago I decided to clean out some old shit from some files where I had crap like pay stubs from 5 years ago and I think I might have trashed a couple of things I need.

Sounds to me like you are human after all.

Without a myspace account is it still possible to view some of your art?

Does that mean that I have Passionate Compulsive Disorder?! I like that better.

Find me on myspace.

The last time I checked, it is damn near impossible to avoid thinking about such things.
I hope you have better luck with that than I do.

Oh, no, we wouldn't want you to become attached to outcomes. Please try not to become attached to outcomes. But don't get too attached to the outcome of those efforts.

Every single thing about WalMart rips at my nerves. The noise, the horrible music, the employees forcing big fake smiles. Creepy.

I live in the pacific northwest. Please forgive my lack of specifics. It's tough to explain but I'll try. My journal is just that, a journal for my throughts, expressions and all the random stuff inbetween. Clearly our journals on SG aren't like "traditional" journals because others can read them, but at the same time I enjoy that it can be kept private from those in my immediate life. Lets me express the good, bad and that which I want to remember. It helps to write stuff down. Again, difficult for me to explain. Anyways...

maybe you where the hundred custormer on he prescription?

HAPPY EASTER!!!

[IMG][/IMG]