Pfffft...the more I think I've got this whole 'love' thing figured out...the more lost I become.
The minute I thought I was 'sure' about anything, the gods went and threw me for a loop!
Now I'm in a relationship with someone who looks to be so very wrong for me. But then, we connect on so many internal/personal levels I keep thinking it shouldn't matter about some of the other stuff? We've been friends for a long time, so I'm not lying when I tell him I love him...however, this 'in love' thing? He seems AWFULY sure about it...and I'm still wishy washy. Not living in my head so much about it, just trying to let things go as they will. But I wonder about myself...does falling in love have a time limit? How can I be 'in love' with him one day and not the next?
I haven't had that much real life dating experience myself...and I sure as shit wasn't dating the two other dudes I really WAS in love with. Of course, I only *realized* I was in love with them when it was too late. Seems that's the only time I can see it for what it is...when the army comes to reactivate him and take him away...or sitting on a plane flying back halfway across the country away from him... Shit like that... I'm LIVING with this dude...he tells me he loves me all the time...asks me to marry him every single day (no shit!)... If neither one of us is going to take off and leave me alone...I wonder if I'll every realize my feelings for him? But like I said, I'm trying not to live in my head about it (that never gets us far!)...
And that's my very long blog comment about relating...
Well, it is an endlessly fascinating subject, even if the same things get said a lot. One can never stop learning about this sort of thing, I think. One is never "done." That might be a frightening prospect for some, but I find it bracing.
boo:
for going to the doctor yesterday and getting weighed...I have to stop eating
for his best friend telling him he should end things between him and I (I know she just has his best interests at heart...or maybe HERS!!)
for work being out of control and stressful
yay:
for making him have a scary "what are we doing... Read More
She was on the road to self destruction. She knew it. She knew where her actions would take her and she was familiar with the sad roller coaster ride to recovery.
So why did she just keep doing it? In the back of her mind she thought "I'm going to have to pay for this later." She wasn't living in the now. She was living... Read More
Hello! Sorry for the ridiculously long delay in replying. The UK rational Health Service provides health care "free at the point of delivery" to all UK citizens. Some things aren't covered. Dentistry has charge, but NHS dentists cost significantly less than non-NHS dentists. Some Eye test stuff isn't covered. And there is a charge per item for prescribed medication, but that is only 6.40, (that's be for a month's supply, usually) and about 80% of people getting prescription meds don't need to pay for them.
There have been troubles with the NHS. There used to be very long waiting lists, and there still are for some treatments. Some treatments are not available to some people based on their location because local health authorities can buy different services. This has especially had an effect of couple wanting fertility treatment. Some expensive meds need to be approved before they're prescribed, and this has led to high profile campaigns for newer treatments for some unpleasant diseases - some people say the campaigns are partly funded by big pharma companies.
On the whole it's an excellent service, and most people in the UK have a fondness for it.
It can be frustrating when a local doctor sends you away to a specialist clinic; some of the branches don't share information at all well. And once you get away from the clinical staff and start talking to managers you realise that sometimes they have weird ideas about people and healthcare.
i'm moving to southern idaho. i'm going from the east coast to as close to the west coast as i've ever been. i've never really spent time west of ohio before. it'll be a big change
i think that maybe you're right about the goodness of people. it just makes me so sad when i see the few good people that i know hurt by...not so good people. and it happens significantly more often than it should.
I saw his best friend this morning. Okay well I saw a profile picture of the girl he calls his best friend. The girl who he confides in and has had sex with and might again... Read More
I'm not sad enough to cry and too down to be happy. it's like emotional limbo, where I don't feel anything enough to be any one thing. I don't like this. I need something. I need answer to this question.
Should I start painting? Should I start making things? Riding my bike? Going to the gym? Explore... Read More
Tell me about a point in your life where you stopped and took a look at yourself. Took a look at what you were doing and thought "I'm going to change." Tell me about something you decided to do differently that has changed your life since then. Tell me about it as if you were going to make... Read More
I told her about the date a week in advance and sent her a message the day of to remind her. I called her and left a message a couple hours before the date too, I didnt get any kind of response from her so I assumed she wasnt coming. That kind of stood up.
I had met with her for one other time 2 weeks before and we had a nice time I thought. I dont know, if the opportunity presents itself I will probably try to see her again. (Heres to hoping that isnt a bad idea)
Tell me about a point in your life where you stopped and took a look at yourself. Took a look at what you were doing and thought "I'm going to change." Tell me about something you decided to do differently that has changed your life since then. Tell me about it as if you were going to make a movie about... Read More
My life in 2003 could make a movie....a good, entertaining, compelling one, even. But I don't have time to tell that story right now, and I think you know most of it already.
I don't want to be tired.
I don't want to be sick.
I don't want my throat to hurt.
I don't want to be cold.
I don't want to be at work.
I don't want to be in any more relationships that don't work.
I don't want to stress out about whether I'm wasting my time or not.
I don't want him to leave me.... Read More
The minute I thought I was 'sure' about anything, the gods went and threw me for a loop!
Now I'm in a relationship with someone who looks to be so very wrong for me. But then, we connect on so many internal/personal levels I keep thinking it shouldn't matter about some of the other stuff? We've been friends for a long time, so I'm not lying when I tell him I love him...however, this 'in love' thing? He seems AWFULY sure about it...and I'm still wishy washy. Not living in my head so much about it, just trying to let things go as they will. But I wonder about myself...does falling in love have a time limit? How can I be 'in love' with him one day and not the next?
I haven't had that much real life dating experience myself...and I sure as shit wasn't dating the two other dudes I really WAS in love with. Of course, I only *realized* I was in love with them when it was too late. Seems that's the only time I can see it for what it is...when the army comes to reactivate him and take him away...or sitting on a plane flying back halfway across the country away from him... Shit like that... I'm LIVING with this dude...he tells me he loves me all the time...asks me to marry him every single day (no shit!)... If neither one of us is going to take off and leave me alone...I wonder if I'll every realize my feelings for him? But like I said, I'm trying not to live in my head about it (that never gets us far!)...
And that's my very long blog comment about relating...