idwraith

Coming home

9pm California time we arrived at the airport. Thanks to a stomach virus I had crapped myself by boarding and tossed the underwear. 3am Mima started having trouble breathing and had to be put on emergency oxygen. She was evacuated off the plane at JFK and taken to the hospital. Jet Blue completely failed to give me any help with the boys or...
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I'm losing my mind.

My doctor took me off my medications so that we could start a new medication. In the meantime I've detoxed and my mind functions have gone through the floor. I've tried to ditch all my friends, started fights, angered people. Everyone is upset or mad at me.

I've been on the phone all day, trying to get started on the new...
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So tonight I deleted my paganspace and okcupid accounts. They weren't working for me and frankly I get tired of talking to stupid people, or reading their posts. I've left all the groups I was in on here, except for the UpstateNY one, and that'll probably come soon.

I've come to realize that I have a lonely path ahead of me, and that's for the...
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There are times I wonder if signing my children over to my parents and checking permanently into a mental institution might not be the best thing for me to do. I'm not solid in the head. I can't remember one of my tenants paying rent, despite the fact that he says he's given me 3 payments of $50. When I was in college and things...
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I've come to realize, painfully, that I'm a single dad. That no matter how much people say they're going to be there for me, they can't always be. That's just the way things are. If one of my sons wakes up in the middle of the night, I'm the only one here to help them.

I've been relying, or trying to rely, to much on...
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Wow. So my doctor put me on Remeron to help with the depression I've been experiencing. Therapy has been going well but it seems that my wife's death has pushed my bipolar disorder in a whole new direction. The depression has been more severe than ever before and while I've been showing all the sign of recovering well from the grief I haven't been recovering...
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I'm getting to the point where I want to set fire to my own head just to stop the noise. I have so many conflicting feelings going through my head. I'm so happy that my boys are starting to do better. They're adjusting to the changes and are moving on, but that makes my sad too because I'm afraid of them losing memory of their...
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Well, I'm hanging in there. The boys are starting to adjust and for them things are getting back to normal. For me, everything is gray and dim. I'm doing everything I can to just hang in there. My therapy sessions are going well, I guess. It's all I can do to keep getting up in the morning and if I didn't have the boys to...
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I always thought that being Polyamorous was one of the hardest and easiest things I knew. Easy because love is an infinite force and if you're lucky to find the right mix of people, having more than one loving person supporting and lifting each other is a remarkable way to live. Hard because with being Poly comes facing the choices of talking about it, letting...
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I would like to thank everyone on SG for being so incredibly supportive of me at this time. Things are really rough and there are all sorts of dumb ideas rolling through my head but the fact that I'm not alone means I can resist them. So thank you everyone for showing your support. The memorial service is going to be on her birthday, Saturday....
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My wife passed away last night. I'm so much in shock I'm not sure what else to say.

The wife's reconstructive knee surgery went well. Her ACL was detached so the doctor drilled a tunnel and put two doubled over hamstrings in its place to give her a 4 ligament graft. Once she heals up she'll be able to walk and such without much problem. Unfortunately when she gets older she'll probably need to have a total knee replacement.

She seems to be...
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