Lies I was always told growing up:
1. you can accomplish anything if you work hard enough. sorry, some things you just can't do. I would love to fly, but I can't. I want a family, but no matter how hard I work at that, it won't happen unless I somehow find someone who actually will settle for me.
2. if you're a good person,...
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1. you can accomplish anything if you work hard enough. sorry, some things you just can't do. I would love to fly, but I can't. I want a family, but no matter how hard I work at that, it won't happen unless I somehow find someone who actually will settle for me.
2. if you're a good person,...
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something I forgot to warn people about I guess.....when I write, its my way of getting feelings out.
you see, growing up, if I was upset, I was told the preverbial "it's okay, don't cry" or "what are you crying about? its not that bad!" or "dont' be upset, why are you upset?". stuff like that. the basic message of "I don't want to see...
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you see, growing up, if I was upset, I was told the preverbial "it's okay, don't cry" or "what are you crying about? its not that bad!" or "dont' be upset, why are you upset?". stuff like that. the basic message of "I don't want to see...
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apathy, a wonderful thing. give up on hopes and dreams that you will never achieve.
fill the empty void of your life with work and more work, so no one will notice how pitiful your existance is.
a wonderful way to live. life has f*cked me over with giving me impossible hopes and dreams, things I can not achieve.
so time to pay life back...
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fill the empty void of your life with work and more work, so no one will notice how pitiful your existance is.
a wonderful way to live. life has f*cked me over with giving me impossible hopes and dreams, things I can not achieve.
so time to pay life back...
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hellstorm:
tattoo ideas I'm coming up with
been working on a new tattoo design, this one in memory of my uncle. its been kind of tough, but considering that he liked Eagles, Harley Davidson, and such, I think I've come up with a good idea! anyone who reads this, please let me know (hopefully I can upload it).....right now, its a work in progress, and the feedback would be appreciated. its in...
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So this friend (if you read previous journal posts by me) that I thought we were close to dating, well, haven't talked since December.
she told me she was there to talk when my uncle disappearred. I called her to tell him they found his body (he committed suicide). after listening for a short while, she told me she had to go.
last I heard...
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she told me she was there to talk when my uncle disappearred. I called her to tell him they found his body (he committed suicide). after listening for a short while, she told me she had to go.
last I heard...
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Crashed kind of big time last night. I'm still working through everything dealing with my uncle's suicide on December 7th. unfortunately, my family seems to not want to talk about anything and really don't have friends around that I will talk to (the one that I would, well, we're not talking anymore).
oh that sucks. wondering how long it is until I either work through...
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oh that sucks. wondering how long it is until I either work through...
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2004, the year that was:
Lots of things happened in 2004, the memorable being:
1. changed jobs (again), moved to another location.
2. got a really good boss.
3. regained confidence in being able to do my job.
4. determined that this is not the career for me, decided to return to Grad School (School Counseling, here I come!)
5. thought someone out there could...
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Lots of things happened in 2004, the memorable being:
1. changed jobs (again), moved to another location.
2. got a really good boss.
3. regained confidence in being able to do my job.
4. determined that this is not the career for me, decided to return to Grad School (School Counseling, here I come!)
5. thought someone out there could...
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clara:
I saw your group request and declined it at this time because we have a group that I think you'll find meets your needs.
http://suicidegirls.com/groups/Death/
Best of luck with your healing process.
http://suicidegirls.com/groups/Death/
Best of luck with your healing process.
Christmas is done, yay. got some nice stuff. it was not too bad, all things considered.
my younger sister got engaged. after 5 years of dating or so.
my older sister is approaching 7+ years and still no ring!
I'm 28 and single (and starting to give up).
and we find out more and more about my uncle that committed suicide. he was one of...
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my younger sister got engaged. after 5 years of dating or so.
my older sister is approaching 7+ years and still no ring!
I'm 28 and single (and starting to give up).
and we find out more and more about my uncle that committed suicide. he was one of...
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the joys of today....Christmas 2004....
28 years ago my dad left (yes, my first Christmas)
starting to totally give up on dating and feelings and any hopes of a relationship with someone!
still feeling like a social freak that no one will love
and still kind of dealing with the suicide of my uncle....although I'm getting good at hiding it!
and missing friends who I...
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28 years ago my dad left (yes, my first Christmas)
starting to totally give up on dating and feelings and any hopes of a relationship with someone!
still feeling like a social freak that no one will love
and still kind of dealing with the suicide of my uncle....although I'm getting good at hiding it!
and missing friends who I...
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hello_kitten:
Harsh. Makes it even worse when everyone is expected to be so happy at Christmas. It's the best time of year to realise how fucked up everything is.
so the more we find out, the more I wonder.
my aunt talked to two of the women my uncle said he had an affair with. they denied it.
did he kill himself for other reasons? was it related to 9/11 (he was one of the first volunteers on sight). all those years in the Red Cross, responding to disasters? what?
I'm still lost as...
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my aunt talked to two of the women my uncle said he had an affair with. they denied it.
did he kill himself for other reasons? was it related to 9/11 (he was one of the first volunteers on sight). all those years in the Red Cross, responding to disasters? what?
I'm still lost as...
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Today without a doubt has become the worst day of my life.
I found out on Thursday that my Uncle went missing since Tuesday. he had gotten involved in a lot of things (probably at least three affairs, who knows what else). he sent my Aunt, his wife, out to run some errands and when she got back, she found a note, and him gone...
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I found out on Thursday that my Uncle went missing since Tuesday. he had gotten involved in a lot of things (probably at least three affairs, who knows what else). he sent my Aunt, his wife, out to run some errands and when she got back, she found a note, and him gone...
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hellstorm:
Mekabre,
thanks for the comments. yeah, it sucks. our entire family is along the lines of "How could he be so selfish" as well as "why didn't he just talk to one of us".
he had things rigged up. it was planned. it sucked.
at his wake, 3 different chapters of the Red Cross showed up.
I think the big thing that everyone said was that he was selfish and only thinking of himself when this happened.
and I agree, I need to be here. that's for sure. got too much to do here. everyone in our family feel that way now. we all need to be here. for each other and to do what we can to help others!
thanks for the comments. yeah, it sucks. our entire family is along the lines of "How could he be so selfish" as well as "why didn't he just talk to one of us".
he had things rigged up. it was planned. it sucked.
at his wake, 3 different chapters of the Red Cross showed up.
I think the big thing that everyone said was that he was selfish and only thinking of himself when this happened.
and I agree, I need to be here. that's for sure. got too much to do here. everyone in our family feel that way now. we all need to be here. for each other and to do what we can to help others!