I am my own worse 'cockblock' and I don't know how to change it. I hang out with circus folk, dancers, burlesque performers, burners, and poly-people so I often find myself in cuddle piles, watching friends walking around naked, and being constantly bombarded with flirtation and sexual tension. I have this strong sense of not wanting to offend and especially not violate the bodies or trust my friends have with me. As a result I have sort of developed a blinder to all the things around me. I don't react to nudity or flirtation because I have no idea what is sincere interest and what is playful. I think the last time I was turned on at one of these many parties was when a friend and I were just talking and realized we liked the same obscure book series. My last girl friend spent weeks trying to get me notice that she was interested: putting her legs up on my dashboard or across my lap to show me her latest tights or cute new underwear. It took her finally biting my ear one time when we hugged goodbye after the club before I even suspected she may be interested. So In a world where I could have an arm across the stomach of a half naked friend while she is flirting with the guy I know shes into or where I could give a few platonic spankings to another friend whose tied up just as a friendly gesture how do you know where the lines are for moving to sexual play or knowing someone else has a sexual interest.
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saw you in the hooping group, excellent work my friend ! and beats antique, yesssss.
What I did this last week is start spending time with other folk, poly and just other spinners. What came to me was that it wasnt about being poly or open at all because I completely comfortable friendly flirting around and being affectionate and just having fun with them. What I belive now is that these other people are just the same drunken sexual predatorial frat boys I could never stand but they are dressing up their actions with the progressive, positive ideals like being open and polyamory. I needed to get out of the main group and get some perspective and realize its them not me. Yeah I am a bit inhibited and do need some clarity before doing more than cuddling but I don't feel that is a bad thing and incidents like the ones I have been seeing all summer with these people kind of made me resolute in not just reading into a situation without some clear consent and interest being communicated.
No matter what scene you are in there is drama after all hehe
Thanks for the compliment I work very hard at my art. I can't believe it took me so long to realize what I think I always knew that I am a dancer. It took my plastic hoop to let it out and I am so luckily to know exactly what I am meant to do with my life now. I dropped 50 lbs and 10 years off my face the first year I started hooping it turned my life around and gave it purpose. I have felt artistically identified for all my life and I guess I never thought about expressing that art in movement before hooping. I love it, I love it, I love it.
What is the spinning like in Ohio? I used to live in Kent for a couple years btw. What got you into hooping and how long have you been spinning?
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Tyler