disme

Have i been absent?
or just not around?


ethier way, my motivation is shot to shit. gettin up is a chore.. and i think my brain is turnig to mush. my plans are a little of the tracks right now, but will be back on soon as i can get around to straighting this horse shit i call a life out.
questions to answer, problems to solve, a soul to get tuned into again if i ever was, and a lost love never found to lose in the first place to find. damn i am getting sappy huh?
i thought i used to know a few things about a few things.. lately it doesnt seem so.
life seemed sure of its self follow a path so to speak. branching off here and there but a path nontheless, now just a endless plain of grass to tall to see over with each and every direction to take besides up for that good view.
just a patch of that grassy expanse to call my own... get it nice and hospitable. maybe throw down a nice rug or two, set up a lamp for the dark nights.
i want so much to be happy. and when i think about being happy i get sad. why is this so? someone with the answers please tell me. i am lost, someone want to draw me a map?