dedlyniteshade

had perty good bday! GOT A CAKE SMASHED IN MY FACE!!! played drinking games in undies at 5 am as well! i think the excision tickets for knoxville tn ran out

been working out lika mofo, hopefully gonna get a lil tan soon lol, had epic weekend learned that my fear of heights with extreme! went snowboarding got off wrong lift by mistake accidently got off at top of mountain my friend thats a pro had to pull me down a 300 ft drop while i laid on my ass and braked with by digging board...
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sanity is yet a dream to me ,because when i awake the scars are still there, memories of when i was helpless, the damage too deep to repair, when i dream around this time of year its mostly about his cold hazel eyes, and how cold and worn his hands were across my face when he tried to muffle my cries, i still hear the...
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hmmm... if im semi-happy with my body perhaps yall can expect valentines day pin up

In flordia visiting family, nakedness soon!

bout to leave for my quarterly bipolar eval (yay?) lol then off to stay night with mum at lake house so ill only have a 15 min drive to funeral... not looking forward to it, but iwont ever forgive myself if i dont go, wont have internet til i get back love youse guys and thanks much for all the kind messages ill be just...
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im leaving for hometown tomorrow after my drs appointment, its gonna suck seeing someone so dear to me buried,,, after today this becomes reality. One thing that made me feel really good was as hard a time is his wife is having with his death is i made her laugh her ass off few minutes ago by telling her when him and i were kids...
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one of my best friends of 17 years just died a few hours ago and im stuck here alone with jim beam and silence of an empty house....... *im heart broken

I MISS NEWYEARS EVE ALREADY! lol last 2 days ive felt off and odd lol, maybe hypo-mania, one of my 1- resolution goals is to handle february better than i usually do, tis one of the months and only times my PTSD goes into full effect last year was first time i didnt lose it too bad because of a dear friend keeping me together...
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new years twas amazing and INSANE!!!!! new nick name is *cat woman* (ya dont wanna know!) lmao best part was i got to talk to a dear friend i thought i had lost a while ago and got stuff off my chest that literally was bottled and aching and such so that night when my drunk ass closed my eyes i had the biggest relieved...
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