I think... no... I feel? ..... Well, I guess I feel. It's funny how feelings can ultimately be misconstrued as weakness. I think Donne said it best "Any man's death diminishes me." Death, in this case (and of course, in my humble opinion) is any type of loss or ill-fated event that so plagues my fellow man. Is this type of empathic tendency a precursor to weakness? Or is it that people are taken aback by the mere existence of someone who really admits to caring about someone without prior obligation? I'm at a loss. How is it that I can practically taste the tears of a weeping friend who, bombarded by tragedy, comes face to face with the darkness of sorrow halfway around the world. Better yet, the question is... how can someone not feel that pain, or at least understand the roots at which that pain draws its power. Can someone just turn off that empathic energy as if it was controlled by a spiget or circuit? Would I welcome that power of control? Funny.... I would almost feel that my soul was losing its vibrance and presence, like a womb slowly becoming barren and useless. How can people not feel... or not allow themselves to feel. True, people may feel and bottle it up in a vacuum sealed container. These unshared feelings are preserved so well than when opened, the feelings are just a poignant and fresh as they were in the beginning... but now they come with a special side-order of guilt, regret, shame, or doubt. I am just as guilty as any other in this regard... a repeat offender whose attempts at rehabilitation and improvement fail at an exponential rate. Try and try again, but hey, the masks are easier to wear in public. Wear a mask long enough and, when you show your real face, it will scare those around you. *** Wow, it's funny how your fingers tend to wander around the keyboard when you let your mind go in the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes I wish I was heartless... but then feel bad thinking such selfish thoughts. Goodnight. Goodmorning. Are you even listening to me? Does this explain.... something?
More Blogs
-
1
Sunday Oct 07, 2007
Read More -
0
Sunday Oct 29, 2006
I fucking hate this holiday season. Always have, always will... I'm … -
1
Sunday May 21, 2006
I start a new job in 9 hours. I usually don't get these jitters but … -
0
Wednesday May 17, 2006
I encountered a rather hysterically funny situation tonight. After s… -
4
Thursday May 11, 2006
Anyone out there? -
1
Monday May 01, 2006
It just hit me that in the weeks to come, I'm going to attend 4 weddi… -
0
Tuesday Apr 25, 2006
Okay... well... I just got inspired by a fabric show... so, let's see… -
0
Monday Apr 24, 2006
Today I did quite a lot of driving... which, unfortunately, cost me a… -
0
Saturday Apr 22, 2006
I think Cold Stone Creamery is evil... -
0
Monday Apr 17, 2006
I think... no... I feel? ..... Well, I guess I feel. It's funny how …