I just had the worst birthday ever. It started out nice - rented a brand new car with CD player, went to class, got lots of happy email - and then it all went to hell.
First, my not-a-date called and said he was too tripped up on Xanax to take me out. No problem. Go to bed and I'll lecture you in the morning.
Then my parents call. It's a nice birthday call until my Dad and I get into a huge argument about eight million things. I say, "Yeah...I really wanted to cry on my birthday," and he says, "Jesus Christ...you don't have to be so negative. I'm just trying to talk to you."
So, I grabbed some wine and went out to East Campus. It's the historic part of town, and you can see most of the city from up there. The buildings are spooky and old. Anyway, I figured I'd just drink some wine and contemplate the world until I froze.
Well, the bottle of wine broke on the way to the overlook because I tripped and dropped it. I didn't fall, but that meant no wine. So, I sat for a bit and then returned to my car.
Xanax friend called back and said he would like to go out. We ran two of his errands, and then he announced he wanted to go home and go to bed. I still had not eaten.
I got home and got a message from my best-friend-then-boyfriend-then-ex-now-best-friend-again. He'd dropped by as a surprise, which is very cool because a) he doesn't do that, and b) birthdays aren't his thing.
I called him and ranted about my day, and we had a really nice conversation. I was feeling so much better, and my birthday had a chance of ending on a good note.
So, of course I had to f*ck it up.
I don't know why, but I got totally stupid and emotional and asked if we could maybe cuddle once in a while. He said, "I don't think it's a good idea," which I was 99% sure he'd say.
I apologized a zillion times, and he assured me that it was okay. I believed him, but I feel HORRIBLE that I even thought to bring that up. He invited me out for breakfast tomorrow, but I declined because he's going in about three hours. Plus, I still feel like such a moron. Since he invited me out, I know things are fine, but it's going to take me quite a while to put that stupid stupid stupid stupid thing behind me.
After we hung up, I did some Brit Lit homework and tried to calm down before bed. Just then, a friend got online and started chastizing me for something before he got my side of it. I gave him my side and told him about my horrible day. We ended up chatting for a bit, and then he wished me sweet dreams and a happy rest-of-birthday.
I know it could have been much worse. I also know that I'd probably be feeling a lot better about it if I'd kept my stupid mouth shut on the phone and just ended the night with that nice conversation about books and Suicide Girls and school and everything else we talk about.
I'm going to bed. I have kitties who will beg me to cuddle them. Kitties are such good creatures when you're feeling stupid.
(Admitting I'm stupid takes a lot out of me, since I pride myself on my intelligence and wit. If you'll note how many times I wrote "stupid", you'll get a feel for how crabby and tired I am right now).
Maybe I'll make tomorrow my birthday and just start all over again.
First, my not-a-date called and said he was too tripped up on Xanax to take me out. No problem. Go to bed and I'll lecture you in the morning.
Then my parents call. It's a nice birthday call until my Dad and I get into a huge argument about eight million things. I say, "Yeah...I really wanted to cry on my birthday," and he says, "Jesus Christ...you don't have to be so negative. I'm just trying to talk to you."
So, I grabbed some wine and went out to East Campus. It's the historic part of town, and you can see most of the city from up there. The buildings are spooky and old. Anyway, I figured I'd just drink some wine and contemplate the world until I froze.
Well, the bottle of wine broke on the way to the overlook because I tripped and dropped it. I didn't fall, but that meant no wine. So, I sat for a bit and then returned to my car.
Xanax friend called back and said he would like to go out. We ran two of his errands, and then he announced he wanted to go home and go to bed. I still had not eaten.
I got home and got a message from my best-friend-then-boyfriend-then-ex-now-best-friend-again. He'd dropped by as a surprise, which is very cool because a) he doesn't do that, and b) birthdays aren't his thing.
I called him and ranted about my day, and we had a really nice conversation. I was feeling so much better, and my birthday had a chance of ending on a good note.
So, of course I had to f*ck it up.
I don't know why, but I got totally stupid and emotional and asked if we could maybe cuddle once in a while. He said, "I don't think it's a good idea," which I was 99% sure he'd say.
I apologized a zillion times, and he assured me that it was okay. I believed him, but I feel HORRIBLE that I even thought to bring that up. He invited me out for breakfast tomorrow, but I declined because he's going in about three hours. Plus, I still feel like such a moron. Since he invited me out, I know things are fine, but it's going to take me quite a while to put that stupid stupid stupid stupid thing behind me.
After we hung up, I did some Brit Lit homework and tried to calm down before bed. Just then, a friend got online and started chastizing me for something before he got my side of it. I gave him my side and told him about my horrible day. We ended up chatting for a bit, and then he wished me sweet dreams and a happy rest-of-birthday.
I know it could have been much worse. I also know that I'd probably be feeling a lot better about it if I'd kept my stupid mouth shut on the phone and just ended the night with that nice conversation about books and Suicide Girls and school and everything else we talk about.
I'm going to bed. I have kitties who will beg me to cuddle them. Kitties are such good creatures when you're feeling stupid.
(Admitting I'm stupid takes a lot out of me, since I pride myself on my intelligence and wit. If you'll note how many times I wrote "stupid", you'll get a feel for how crabby and tired I am right now).
Maybe I'll make tomorrow my birthday and just start all over again.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I REALLY like the idea of choosing your birthday, and I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. it got me all excited. It's a great idea. See, you ARE smart.
So, let's start over ...
happy birthday. sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. Good thing that TODAY is your birthday and not yesterday.
So what are you going to do today? I hope you get b-day sex.
You should make yourself an artichoke today. It's your birthday.
interesting profile pic =)
i go to michigan state so unfortunately only sort of neighbors. unfortunate b/c i have a feeling i'd get along great with anyone who loves monty python, muppets, tim burton, and eddie izzard among other things.