I've just realized how dependent my brain is on this medication, and that makes me very very sad. 
I suppose I'd feel differently if I was, say, a diabetic dependent on insulin. Nobody would look down on me for that.
But to have brain chemistry that does not allow seratonin to flow properly means that I have to take anti-depressants, and I'm ashamed to admit I'm on them since most people would immediately assume I'm a psycho, depressed, whiny bitch.
The truth is so completely opposite. I'm a fun, happy, witty, sarcastic, energetic person 99% of the time, which is why it pains me to no end that it's hard to be that person when I'm off the medication. My brain just isn't programmed right, or something, and it isn't my fault.
So why do I feel so horrid about this right now? I like what the medication does for me, but I'm just so embarrassed to be on it.
I know I'm being stupid, but I don't care. It's how I feel.
I suppose I'd feel differently if I was, say, a diabetic dependent on insulin. Nobody would look down on me for that.
But to have brain chemistry that does not allow seratonin to flow properly means that I have to take anti-depressants, and I'm ashamed to admit I'm on them since most people would immediately assume I'm a psycho, depressed, whiny bitch.
The truth is so completely opposite. I'm a fun, happy, witty, sarcastic, energetic person 99% of the time, which is why it pains me to no end that it's hard to be that person when I'm off the medication. My brain just isn't programmed right, or something, and it isn't my fault.
So why do I feel so horrid about this right now?
I like what the medication does for me, but I'm just so embarrassed to be on it.
I know I'm being stupid, but I don't care. It's how I feel.
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Don't feel alone and don't feel ashamed. 9.5% of the adult population in the US suffers from clinical depression. 16% of the US population will suffer depression severe enough to warrant treatment at some point in their lives. 13.3% of the 18-54 population in the US suffers from an anxiety disorder. You are not alone.
To what Elisabeth said about mental health insurance parity...first you have to convince the republicans and business owners that it is not going to send insurance costs skyrocketing, as if they're not high enough already. For a non manufacturing industry chances are the number one expense is employee health benefits. Employers do not want to spend any more on insurance and unless they can be convinced otherwise then mental health parity is a long way off...an unfortunate event for everyone.
I'm on a crazy combo of anti-depressants! I have been for years, and I pretty much think I always will be, but at this point I'm not too worried about it- I'm a million times better than when I cried myself to sleep every night and wore long sleeves all summer to cover my pathetic attempts at a slit wrist. It gets better