Meh

6

This depression is a strange thing to deal with. Most of my days, I don't feel like doing anything. Not even watching tv, or playing video games, things like that. But then there are weird days like today, where I feel something like motivation. It's not quite there, I'm not quite feeling the urge to be proactive, but it's... it's the ghost of motivation haunting...
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hughjanus:
Hey man.  I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember and depression for the last 18 years (at least).  These videos (and more), have helped me deal with life: "We Are All One and Our Reality Is An Illusion" https://youtu.be/dmuEZKn47sA ; Alan Watts, "It's Just a Show" https://youtu.be/jldHW2xKBao ; "The Tao of Philosophy..." https://youtu.be/bE6mRYypmJY .
wolfwood1203:
@hughjanus Thanks, I'll check those out. I appreciate the thought, I really do.

Where did I go wrong?

7

As I sit here watching sharknado 6, I can't help but wonder... what am I doing with my life? To make things worse, I had nothing else to do today, so I've been sitting through a marathon of these horrible movies. I... I kind of really hate myself right now.

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wolfwood1203:
@felicity So, I was just browsing netflix. It would seem that the first 5 are available there if you really want to watch.
felicity:
Thank you ❤

First real novel.

7

Okay, I guess it's time to do this again. Last time, I explained how I started writing. More or less. So, the next step is to start talking about works in progress.

After my earlier attempts at writing, most of which were promptly deleted, I finally started working on a story that I actually liked enough to not delete it. It's... I'm not entirely sure...
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libris:
What about self publishing?
wolfwood1203:
@libris I'd need to do research, and I still need to get some editing done, but I've thought about it.

I think I broke the cat...

12

Okay, so today a friend of mine invited me to his place for a cookout, which is always a good time, so I went. After we ate, his cousin decided we should go to the bar, so I barely got home at about 2:30.

Now, the moment I walked through the door, I heard my cat meowing like crazy. I figured he was just angry...
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felicity:
Oh, he was just missing you ❤

A bit about me.

7

Okay, I'm going to try to start blogging more about my writing. So, the first logical step is to tell you a bit about how I got started. (I really wish I had a working computer for this instead of having to do it on my phone...)

First of all, I never even thought about writing when I was younger. I know some people can...
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libris:
Lol, oh grad school!  Nothing but reading and writing for your chosen subject for years.  I actually enjoyed it though.  You know I'm interested in your writing!  Keep on blogging!
wolfwood1203:
@libris Yeah, grad school is the reason I stopped doing a lot of things. But despite the difficulties, I enjoyed it too.

Thursday

7

God, I wish I could get rid of this depression. I haven't felt motivated to do anything the last couple days. Which of course means no writing. I don't even feel like writing this blog. Or watching tv, or playing video games, or anything really. I just want to curl up and die. Or sleep for a week. Whichever.

Tuesday

4

Okay, so that last blog was an experiment to see if I could write a bit of flash fiction (for those who don't know, it's just a story under 1000 words). Anyone concerned by it, sorry about that.

I went to the bathroom before going to sleep this morning and got creeped out by random house noses in the dark. It reminded me of the...
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That old, familiar feeling.

8

I'm trying to stay calm while I write this. But truth be told, I can't stop shaking. Why after all these years? I never should have come back. I never would have, but circumstances fucked me, and here I am again.

Context. Right. Might as well explain while I still can. I don't remember exactly how old I was, maybe 7 or 8. I used...
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libris:
You gotta get that thing to get the fuck out once and for all.  Were you close to any recently deceased family members?  If so, give them an offering, and ask them to take care of it.  You could get another spirit to take care of it... Santa Muerte, Hekate; just make sure to give them an offering as well.  If there's a Catholic church nearby you could get some Holy Water and sprinkle it around.  Something iron might scare it off depending on the kind of spirit.  You can order some Florida Water off amazon and sprinkle it around as well.  Salt can work.  Oh yeah!  Dragon's Blood incense will clear everything from your house.  If all that fails look for a church, Buddhist temple, etc that does house blessings and get them to come out, and just do a general blessing.   For general protection Jason Miller has a pretty good book.  You could also give this a try :  http://www.llewellyn.com/journal/article/2243  I'm trying to throw out any idea I have, lol  Whatever you do try, you have to mean it... feel the energy gather in your body and push it out directed at the spirit, and tell it to get out.  Be mean as hell, and don't let it scare you; it can't hurt you physically.

Just a thought.

6

In an effort to pull my head out of my ass (firmly lodged though it may be), I've been thinking about posting some writing related blogs. Talking about the novel I'm putting off editing, and other projects I've been mulling over in my head.

The hope being that maybe it'll help motivate me to start working on them again (hard to do without a working...
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libris:
You should!  Oh god, are you blogging from your phone?
wolfwood1203:
@libris Yes... yes I am. It's not fun.

This jerk...

12

So, I finally got home after a week in Dallas. Of course, my cat is acting like he doesn't care. Unless you count following me around and sitting a slight distance away from me that is...

Acting nonchalant...

Keeping me in sight...

I think he's starting to give up the pretense.


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wolfwood1203:
@libris Definitely glad to be back. I'm going to enjoy sleeping on a real bed again.
user57907602:
Lol you're so funny 😆
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