I'm not sure what to do.

5

So, I've been very candid about my situation. If you read my nonsensical ravings, you know about my failures in life, and what I'm doing with my life now.

I had, for a surprising amount of time, a few good friends in my life. But, you know how life works. They moved, got jobs, started lives, etc. We kept in touch, and saw each other once a year. Then covid happened. And I haven't heard anything from them in years now.

Today, out of the fucking blue, I get texts from two of them. Both in town, or going to in town, and want to catch up. The last time we really spoke, I had gotten my masters degree finished, and was heading to DC with a friend in search of work.

Now I'm facing a lot of anxiety and stress, because these are people who I haven't really talked to since I was still on track to do something with my life. What do you say to people like that? How do I face my past and tell them what a failure I've become?

I had to avoid doing something tonight with one of them because they wanted to go to the bar. With spikes in covid cases, and the new variant, there's no way I'm going somewhere like that. But I can't get it of tomorrow, because he wants to meet at his grandma's house.

God... I've become such a fucking recluse.

VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
wolfwood1203:
@libris The only reason I agreed to go out later tonight is because we'll be at his grandma's house. So it'll be just a handful of people, all of whom have been vaccinated. I never liked bars, even before. But, I don't drink. That aside, thank you. It's good to hear that every so often.
oldernow:
@wolfwood1203 glad it helped a bit - i was trying to say that while everybody fails, for approx. 60% of the world that is useless information, like tits on a bull or the reason behind taxes.  for most of us there are different paradigms that work better: for the inspiration-seeker, it is like fishing: mindlessly doing things like casting every minute actually won't help.  sometimes just sitting and waiting (as Aurora has said more than once) is the best way to gather information and energy.  my niece is like that... she worked a simple job in a flower shop for 10 years and everyone kept at her (but me) to "make something of yourself" then the shop went up for sale, she bought it and two years later became the most successful retail store in town.  so long as we aren't getting sucked dry by waiting... if we are, then we gotta move... gotta run with the wolves... (btw the warriorsandweirdos board is interesting, and the instagram community around Aurora is unusually supportive and creative--but maybe you already know these things...)

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