any honestly 'nice guy' will answer, well, truly and honestly that "yes, of course" - though, of course, we really don't know any other way nor could we act any differently if we tried
( and, yes, some of us do try - and fail quite spectacularly - at not being the 'nice guy' we naturally are )
again, I'm not talking about the faux 'nice guy-to get the girl' or poseurs that are honestly cruel & could-care-less inside - even though those do tend to be the ones the girls go for when they talk about 'nice guys'
and girls, if you're honest, you don't really go for the truly 'nice guy' - unless you are one of those rare & wonderful 'nice girls' ...
not to say that 'nice girls' are truly rare, but they're rarely single because the smart & capable guys - whether they're nice or not - caught 'em before we could even approach 'em *sighs*
or we became friends with them and wouldn't dare to take that step that may end up losing the friendship we so cherish...
because most 'nice guys' cherish the friendships they have - which leads to them having the girls... as friends... which lead to wonderful friendships you daren't let go of
personally I'm one of those awkwardly 'nice guys' where it couples with a natural obliviousness...
since my memory is scattercrash 'tween 15-18 and non-existant before 15, I don't know if it's a natural obliviousness or it stems from having/having had naturally flirtatious friends
either way, I don't notice being flirted with until long-thereafter, when it's far too late ... or when someone points it out far after the fact *smirks/sighs*
yes, I've had friends decades later tell me they were flirting with me & liked me - to which, of course, I usually just ask why they weren't obvious about it
since by now they're taken or lost interest ( or have become the aforementioned cherishable friend ), it's far too late for an answer to have any useable meaning
I just don't notice *shrugs*
being a 'nice guy' can & will lead to wonderful & amazing circumstances - which I can only assume happens to all of us at some point
they're mere moments & not often long-lasting, but can circumstantially lead to amazing friendships & acquaintances
I, for example, knew strippers & dancers that trusted me completely
( leading to wildly, hilarious parties where, yes, I was the consummate nice guy - playing gracious host to half-naked, if not completely naked, lovelies who sometimes playfully teased the 7 hells out of me knowing it was harmless )
through them I met photographers & through them models & through them photographers, models, dancers, etc
for a time I even assisted various strippers, dancers, & models ... and even attempted, albiet failed, at photography myself :)
and, as a 'nice guy,' it was simply standard that you'd see them go through hellish relationships & had zero advice to give in that regard
only a shoulder to offer, if they wanted, alcohol, if available, & a place to crash to escape, laugh, & just be nuts for a bit *smirks*
in the years since these mere moments - because, really, that's all they were... they spanned over years but could all fit into a year's time or so...
in the years since I haven't gained much in the advice biz - hells, only having one of the 4 relationships last longer than 40 days doesn't give much time to learn much
( particularly when they overwhelmingly involved cheating - multiple times - which, as a 'nice guy' we have a habit of forgiving because it's either expected or we think at least it's something )
which, aye, we learn better... but still have a relatively blind-eye towards
( I've been flirted with once I was aware of since the ex-wife left & that one was honest-to-goodness batshit crazy, so thankfully I noticed before even a kiss became of that...
which, yes, as mentioned before, I haven't even kissed anyone in over a decade, let alone more... but I wasn't expecting anything to occur either, with my lack-of-relationship past )
BUT... even with all this, I'm still glad I'm the oblivious 'nice guy' that I am...
even if my kind of 'nice guy' is a little nuts/weird with a few peculiarities and oddities I've accumulated down the years *laughs*
and it led to my actually being married, albeit for a very short period of time, and having two wonderful spawnlings that lived coming from said relationship
these are things I wouldn't give up and I can only hope that I've become the 'nice fathre' that they deserve & can appreciate someday when they're older
so... do 'nice guys' finish ?
I wouldn't know... but I'm not finished yet.
mayhaps, someday, in some weird unexpected situation, I'll discover something, someone, that is worth my 'nice guy'-ness
but I have no expectations and I'll continue living my life as I am & face what comes at me as I always have
Much love, my Lovelies & Gentlefolk - and to the 'nice guys' & 'nice girls' out there... don't ever change ! <3
twittage ::
1/2 : I admit I haven't gotten the flu shot in years now - but that's for one very important reason... the flu shot isn't free
well, it's free... for those with insurance. and there's the dumbass expectation that "everyone has insurance" ( I've even been told that when asking about costs of flu shots at varying locations ) - stemming from the N0bamacare mentality ( key word: mental )
so, no, it's not free for those of us like myself that can't afford insurance - and it's spendy as all-get-out ( assuming they'll even offer it to uninsured )... locally it's 40$ at the low-end - and one place even told me I'd have to wait until those insured are immunized ("in case [they] run out")
11/3 : really, "no nut november" ?!? *yeesh* haven't been with someone since late '07 and I hear people bitching about it "being months" - if you're so obsessed you have to make a month about it, I'll simply mock you because I'm gonna do what I feel like doing and when... *amused*
11/3 II : being very much a wanderer ( even if it's only vaca occurance now ), I make a lot of spur-of-the-moment choices based on visual & intrigue from where I am at the moment - this also means I'm kinda horrible at decisions when not already on the move ( such as "where to eat," etc )
11/4 : just a reminder for the perpetually-late, you can't use the 'time change' excuse, otherwise you'd have been at work early for a change - not late... and, no, we didn't believe that excuse when you used it in the spring nor any of your other excuses, either, so stop the bullshit
11/5 : "tomorrow is election day and today is the last day open for early voting" - well, no shit, I thought I'd be able to vote early during the normal election cycle //sarcasm// ... *yeesh*
watched recently :
via rental/streaming:
The Magicians (2nd Season)
Game Night
EDtv
Barely Lethal
The Gifted (2nd Season)
ownedflix:
Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire
Sliders (3rd Season)
-thom Wolfox sR Rhose, AK/GOT (OOP)
unusualist - I have yet to find a religion and/or spirituality that fits my own personal beliefs... other than, of course, the fact I am a (fallen) god.
bookcouple:
❤️