* I was born colourblind - completely colourblind ( or so I was told, since I can't see colours, it's kinda hard to gauge how bad it is ;) )
* I've had heart issues since birth, though it wasn't recognized 'til I was around 15 after my elderly doctor died and the new one "discovered" it [ bicuspid aeortic valve & aeortic valve stenosis ]
* I've always had chest pain ( see heart issues ) and I'd honestly be concerned if it ever suddenly went away
* medically I've also had & have pyloric stenosis, kidney stones, childhood hyperactivity, dust allergy, grain dust allergy, concussions ( both mild & severe ), severe skull fracture, umbilical hernia ( related to a stabbing incident ), & presumed nerve damage
* I've been damaged in multiple accidents, including vehicular ( I was never driving, however! ) as well as an attack & robbery and other 'incidents' that damaged me ... for some reason people think I'm "lucky" that I keep surviving all these things !
* I 'suffer' memory loss from a '96 car accident wherein my skull was fractured ( top of head ) - I never recovered all of it, remembering little between being 15 and 21 and virtually nothing from before I was 15 ... not much of a loss, I'm guessing
* an attack/robbery in '08 further damaged both my skull & furthering memory loss - this time back of skull near neck and, so I was informed, making me concussion prone/highly susceptable to concussions
* I have a wide array of food allergies where many I don't even remember anymore - including dairy ( which gets me "milk drunk" - not as fun as it sounds! ), most vegetables, wheat ( oddly, depends on what it's in for how bad I react ), etc
* I have a strange 'texture sensitivity' - not just of particular things I can't touch or have touching me, but also of food textures as well *sighs*
* I am a picky eater, I admit - yet I've tried many things people think are strange or weird... the only 'seafood' I can stand is tuna out of the can packed in oil, which I eat right out of the can ( as an example )
* I had my first kiss at 18, my first 'anything else' at 21 ... and've only 'been with' 4 people my entire life, including the ex-wife ( the only one to last longer than 40days & only one not to have cheated on me )
* I was 15 when I saw someone take their final breath ( OD with only myself in the room with them ) - and only seen one other do the same since ( my mothre who never came out of a coma )... I count the one at 15 to be the first death in a long line of deaths
* since turning 15, there was only one year where someone I knew didn't die - I believe it was 2012? - the worst year was either the one just before or just after where over 12 people I knew died ( I lost track sometimes )
* I was, admittedly, a drunk for well over a decade of my life... it took my body suddenly deciding to stop processing anything with alcohol to get me to quit ( well, I still drink now-and-then, but never near my limits! )
* I have never partaken of illegal drugs in my life - probably due to witnessing an OD at 15
**death has been a factor of my life for most of my lifetime... ( this is where some may think it gets depressing, but to me it's just one of many pages of my life )
This is my no means a full list- after all, knowing at least one person who died a year since '88 and many of the years being far more than one person adds up a lot higher than this...
this is merely a list of the ones that meant something... more... for one reason or another ::
- in '88, the first death I witnessed & remember : "girl I dated that OD'd" - I honestly can't remember her name anymore after all these years, but remember the death all-too well
- sometime 'tween '88 & '92 : "Brighteyes" - can't remember how she died, just the name I called her by
- in '92, first suicide : "Dreamer" - killed herself after having been raped - I missed her calls because I was on a roadtrip drinking, her roommate told me when I called back *sighs* - I blamed myself for decades
- in '97, presumed murder, craziest death : Vixen Tomsein - had gotten several calls from Cali PD that they were looking for her and she'd told her sister she was thinking of coming my way... roughly week later get call they found her body :( - she was a tiny & wily li'l darlin'
- in '99, best friend (HS) : Tony "Twitch" - in a car crash where the passengers in the vehicle didn't survive, either ( effectively jumped an s-curve, drinking was involved, possibly drugs )
- in '01, sister : Jacqueline "Jax" - accidental drowning, likely due to medication she was taking... my eldest daughter is named after her, she was my sole go-to relative for advice on ANYthing
- in '09, 2nd death witnessed : my mothre - feel into a coma from complications with chemo & lung cancer, never awoke
- in '11, closest friend (post-HS) : Poni Dale Thomas - deaf since birth, beautiful as hell ( looked like JLH ), and hilariously crazy-sexual ( though we never, mind you! ) - had so much fun torturing TRS operators even though she could speak clearly, just couldn't hear :)
- in '16, oldest friend : Jenny - also my first kiss, when we attempted dating ( didn't even last days *laughs* we figured out fast it wouldn't work ) - we knew each other longer than my memory, since children
- TWO co-workers from my current place of employment have died (Brian & Bill) - both of which are the only co-workers I hung out with/did things outside of work with... guess I'm a dangerous co-worker to be around outside of work ? ( kidding about the last part )
- cousins, aunts, & uncles alike have passed - though that happens in any family... never met/don't remember my grandparents from either side - one grandfather died mere days before I was born !
- sadly, the number of friends to have passed outnumbers the relatives, including unmentioned above : Tipani, Antina "Tina," D Royal Panzer Roman & G Kitty Guienevere Roman ( siblings - had to share their entire names because their family was so unique ! I met Kitty when she was hitchhiking ! ), Honest 'Henry,' Rinne, Briar Sadie, Tixé, Tobiannah ( sister of Vixen ), Chevy ( yes, her real name! ), Marigold, Dutch, Peggie, [...] and far too many more :(
there are times I'm honestly a bit surprised I still have friends that are alive...
if anything, I suppose, this shows me that even though I rarely see my friends ( 5-10yrs for those I see 'regularly,' 10-20 is usual ), I've made a lifetime worth and then some down the years...
AGAIN, I don't feel it's depressing at all - it just IS and has been a factor of my life for 30yrs +
one day of twittage ::
8/26 : dreamage : moving into huge multi-tiered home by a lake, mothre (with white hair styled like Selma), sister Jacqueline, & a little girl calling me uncle who won't let me set her down delivering boxes while I'm trying to prepare for visitors (Kveen & Cindy) coming from the airport
8/26 II : having 3 pairs of short-sleeve denim shirts is NOT "owning a lot of denim" - hells, they're not even the same shade of denim ( at least, *I* can see the difference between each shirt ) >:(
watched recently :
ownedflix:
Warehouse 13 (2nd Season)
Deadpool 2
Super Troopers 2
Stephen King's The Stand (mini-series)
First Blood
Rambo: First Blood Part II
Now You See Me 2
Zombieland
-thom Wolfox sR Rhose, AK/GOT (OOP)
unusualist - I have yet to find a religion and/or spirituality that fits my own personal beliefs... other than, of course, the fact I am a (fallen) god.
( y'just now figured out that I'm basically a non-practicing hedonist? "if it feels good, do it, if it feels bad, you're doing it wrong" )
( "I believe in the proven power of willpower and the truth we are the gods we created. No one being created this universe and its wonders." )
( "the words of wisdom I follow will be the words I've written myself based on the life and experiences that I have Lived, Enjoyed, & Survived" )
( "may the platelets of justice travel the bloodstream of villainy, clog its arteries with honourable vengeance, and induce a coronary of truth" )
( "we are all inmates in the same asylum, some of us are just better at bribing the guards" )
( "In a previous life I was the engine block to a '56 chevy, I lost my heart to a Volkswagen Bus... er, wait - or was that a '57?" )
( "Godfuck Me, Jesus!" )
"Lately, we've been playing music by this chap named Bieber, gosh, you should hear the screams"
"Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave..."
"Oh, man. I'm sensing something very canadian about this place..."
"It's all true, god's an astronaut, Oz is over the rainbow, and Midian is where the monsters live..."
Jax : "yay for you, do you want a cookie or a bozo button?"