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wolfangel

Canada

Member Since 2003

Followers 4 Following 58

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Friday Oct 31, 2003

Oct 31, 2003
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Work today was...charring to the senses. I never did attain the proper state of being. Discord reigned. Lucky it was only a half shift. Or perhaps that was the source of the ennui. If I was not so apathetic and pathetic I would muster up the mojo to quit. I would only find other things to irk me, and I have never been an adventurous person.

Near the end of the shift a regular customer locked herself out of her car. She was having no luck getting assistance from AMA or family, so when I got off shift I offered her a ride home. She refused, saying she was too far out of town--about 10 miles. So I went and started my car and brushed off the snow. Personally, I would have done the same as her--refused an initial offer of assistance from a relative stranger while still pondering a course of action. But in a rare moment of empathy, I realized I would likely aquiesce with further prodding. So I pulled in front of the store, ran in, and told her "let's go."
"Are you sure?"
From there social protocol was followed; exchange of innoxious banter, arrival at destination, offers of gas money, declining.
It is slightly amusing to consider it would be rude on her part not to offer some dinero, but it would be a social faux pas for me to accept the offer.
A few years ago, I hit the ditch and got a ride back to Prince George with a truck driver. The ride would have been less appreciated if he had accepted the offer of 20 bucks.
Perhaps I am over analyzing, but with this girl the issue seems more dominated with factors of power and control. Me trying to maintain a sense of obligation, and her trying to dissipate it.
I find the concept of altruism perplexing. In 9 out of 10 occasions I will not make that extra effort to assist my fellow--I am too indecisive and ambivalent. Altruism is easy within your own tribe, and I have always considered myself in a state of liminality(ie.outsidership).
Michelle happened to be cute. Even then, if she had not been in the previous three mornings, greeting me with that winsome smile, I would have just headed straight home.
Regardless, the slight smile I had on the drive home was a welcome respite from the need to kill which had dominated the previous four hours.

la whatever
pixilated101:
I also have a tendency to over analyze everything.

I don't see a problem with it.

Nov 4, 2003

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