Join now and instantly access millions of uncensored photos, videos and livestreams!

Join Now
Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

wilwheaton

Los Angeles

Member Since 2005

Followers 4396 Following 803

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

every day is a struggle against despair

Jul 25, 2020
23
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email

I spent almost the entire day, yesterday, working really hard on something really awesome that I can't talk about.

It felt so good to be working, to be creating something I know will eventually entertain people when it's released. It was several days of prep and several hours of work, and I am grateful for every minute of it, because during the time I was working, I was focused on creating and entertaining. For a few hours, I didn't have the overwhelming sense of doom and hopelessness that's been knocking on my door for weeks. I'm grateful for that.

And yet, here I am, not even 24 hours later, right back in fear and worry.

For almost five months now, there's been little to separate one day from another. Every day is a struggle to stay positive, and remember that there's a small circle around Things I Can Affect, and a huge circle around Things I Can Do Absolutely Nothing About. I can usually accept that, but this week, Things I Can Do Absolutely Nothing About has just been too much to handle, and I feel like I'm going to cry, all the time.

I'm emotionally exhausted, and I'm struggling every single day with depression, feeling overwhelmed, low-key anxiety and the persistent background buzz of fear.

I know this doesn't make me special, and I know that things could be so much worse (and I know that they are for so many people. I'm grateful I'm not one of them).

But I'm a person, and I bleed just like anyone else does, and I am just having the hardest time staying positive. I'm scared, I'm confused, I'm sad, I'm overwhelmed, and I'm doing everything I can to not slide into depression and despair, but today, I am REALLY feeling it.

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
veenine:
Thanks for sharing... stay strong! I slip into the same funk sometimes and its so hard to climb back out of, i feel you ❤️
Aug 4, 2020
elixic:
My unease has yet to manifest as despair, or at least not feelings of despair, sometimes it's feels kind of like the recognition that a terminally ill patient has when they finally accept that they will die soon, other times it's nothing like that at all and I'm hopeful. I haven't seen my friends in months, but I am lucky to have an awesome partner, a wonderful son, three adorable kitties, and two derpy doggos to keep me mostly sane during this time. I guess I'm trying to say that I empathize with everyone who's going though this time and feeling unsure, sad, scared, hopeless, trapped, or whatever else they are feeling because it really is hard. I do have hope though, most of the time. I hope you have found some hope too. Thanks for sharing!
Aug 17, 2020

More Blogs

  • 03.25.25
    5

    my short fiction podcast, it's storytime with wil wheaton, drops marc…

    I don't know if anyone still follows me here, since I pretty much s…
  • 06.05.24
    11

    all good things

    I think this is going to be my final blog here. I feel like a…
  • 05.22.24
    18

    Are there any other OGs here?

    I've been a member since the early days, before I wrote for the New…
  • 05.07.24
    1

    Your garden can be a metaphor

    I wrote this on Tumblr when someone asked me if I had any hobbies. …
  • 03.26.24
    2

    guess i won't be climbing mount halsin

    So I'm in my second playthrough of…
  • 03.01.24
    6

    mint on card

    "I want the Wesley Crusher figure!" "We have Wesley Crusher at h…
  • 02.20.24
    4

    It's so weird to feel anxious about not feeling anxious.

    Tomorrow, at are-you-fucking-serio…
  • 02.16.24
    5

    This is correlation, not causation

    Just a couple of days ago, I told Anne that though I am always a l…
  • 01.15.24
    6

    before

    I remember in the eighties our local ABC station did a summer prom…
  • 01.09.24
    12

    happy 8th soberversary to me

    January 9, 2016 is the day my life — a life that belongs to me, th…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
15
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,599 SuicideGirls
  • 1,115,367 followers
  • 14,942,787 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,449,620 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

    Press enter to search
    Fast Hi-res

    Click here to join & see it all...

    Crop your photo