This was on my Tumblr thing.
A neat human on Tumblr said >>> Hi! I just went 48 hours without a drink and I'm really proud of myself and wanted to tell someone. Thanks for being so open about your sobriety, it's a big inspiration for me and I'm sure for many others.
So I said:
Hey way to go! Do you plan to stay sober? If no, accept my admiration and go on with your life!
If yes, may I offer some thoughts based on my experience? A couple of big things I lived through that would have been nice to know about in advance?
The first few days weren’t the hardest for me, probably because my body was detoxing lingering alcohol-related stuff. But right around the seventh day, I started to get cravings, and it was tough for a few days there. I was on the phone with Hardwick (who was like a sponsor to me, though I didn’t to a program) almost every day, asking lots of questions, like “is this normal?” and “will this end?” The answer was yes, and sure enough about ten or so days after I had my last drink, I went for weeks without any serious craving.
Then.
Oh shit.
Then, around the fourth week, I had this day where all I wanted to do all day long was drink all the beers in the world, and I couldn’t figure out why. On that day, “one day at a time” became “one hour at a time”. I got through it with the support of Chris and Anne, but it was really challenging.
Around that time, I became aware of all these feelings and emotions and painful memories that I had been numbing with alcohol. They were like FINALLY YOU CAN DEAL WITH US! And that was a whole thing. I went to the therapist a lot around that time, and I read a lot of books that helped me understand and begin to heal the trauma I had been self medicating away.
So the two things I guess I hope you’ll take away from this are:
1. It’s totally normal to have INTENSE cravings, and they will pass. I used a LOT of seltzer water, LaCroix, and the occasional caffeine-free soda to satisfy the habit I had of having a drink every night. Having those cravings doesn’t mean you’re weak or anything like that. It’s just habit and biology. After about 45 days, the cravings (which were rare and usually mild) stopped. That was, like 1200 days ago, so I am proof that the intense cravings can and will stop. Oh, but when Anne’s having a great IPA and I’m like, “Man, I wish I could have that,” I remind myself that the reason I stopped drinking was my inability to have one and stop. I’m not going back there, so I make a choice not to drink every day.
2. It’s totally normal for some profound emotional things to surface, and you should expect it. You’re going to have this overwhelming clarity and perspective on your life that you didn’t have when you were drinking. If this happens to you, you may want to be prepared with a therapist appointment.
3. Oh, and one last thing that I just remembered is that I kept (and keep) a private diary/journal about my experiences, where I am relentlessly honest with myself. That made a HUGE difference for me, and most of my sober friends tell me that they wish they’d done that when they decided to get sober.
It’s been almost 3.5 years since I took my last drink, and I don’t regret it at all. Maybe that’s your path, or maybe it isn’t. Whatever path you choose to walk, know that these last 48 hours are a real and good and fantastic thing. I’m super happy for you and I hope that you are living your best life!
