So somehow i've managed to go through school, college and in general life being an outsider and a bit of a loner reclusive. I say somehow because I did have friends and I did do activities I was just inwardly so completely divorced from them that i may as well have been a stranger to those groups. Yet I knew of no other options so i went along with the script and played various roles of being a jock, stoner, and even an academic. Still though as soon as I could break away from groups I did, and I headed to the woods to be alone.
In college I started to piece together what I aspired too. I wanted to as much as possible jetison myself from the culture I found myself in, I started getting into permaculture and ultimately formulated my life goal of being an independent off grid farmer who pursues spiritual enlightenment with his free time. I was pretty damn convinced of it all too. So first order of business when I got out of school was to pay off my debt and save some cash to buy a farm. Here though the saga begins. The last seven years of my life since college have been a whirlwind roller coaster that really makes little sense without understanding my desperate desire to get on a piece of land to homestead. My goal was to be off grid and free and paradoxically enough I ended up in a situation with no other option but to work at a power plant in the middle of frickin north dakota.
So iI'm in the process of reformulating my original plan for freedom. First though I'm going to have to go back and recount the craziness of the last seven years to see what I need to change. More on that to come.
In college I started to piece together what I aspired too. I wanted to as much as possible jetison myself from the culture I found myself in, I started getting into permaculture and ultimately formulated my life goal of being an independent off grid farmer who pursues spiritual enlightenment with his free time. I was pretty damn convinced of it all too. So first order of business when I got out of school was to pay off my debt and save some cash to buy a farm. Here though the saga begins. The last seven years of my life since college have been a whirlwind roller coaster that really makes little sense without understanding my desperate desire to get on a piece of land to homestead. My goal was to be off grid and free and paradoxically enough I ended up in a situation with no other option but to work at a power plant in the middle of frickin north dakota.
So iI'm in the process of reformulating my original plan for freedom. First though I'm going to have to go back and recount the craziness of the last seven years to see what I need to change. More on that to come.
I suppose I am very blessed to live and work in the industry I do.
We have been able to work for ourselves to earn the homestead we will, hopefully, be purchasing this year.
I can no longer imagine "working for the man", it has been almost a decade since, and I honestly think if I had to, I would start slaughtering people...so good on you for dealing with it all, shows that you are strong.
But I hope that you do not lose sight of who you are, and what you want in life.
Our souls are so much bigger and older than the existence we now know, I used to not hear it.
But over the last few years it's a call I can no longer ignore, and it has really helped me see what my priorities are.
I don't know what it says that I ended up working for the very man I wanted to free myself from. Its ironic but I now work at a power plant and all I have dreamed of is how to go off grid. Not prone to slaughter the innocent and ignorant, but I sure do think now and again about throwing in a monkey wrench in the grid and giving folks who complacently rely on systems that are destroying the earth a wake up call.....
I'm not going to lose sight nor compromise. Just got to fight for my next vantage and opening. It will come and there are many lessons in this process. You are so very right "or souls are so much bigger and older than the existence we now..." I'm listening, learning and am humbling myself to this fact. I will make my purpose happen. Obstacles merely sharpen the purpose and strengthen the will.