wendy1

Sometimes, you try and sleep, but you know its just not gonna happen. Thats how it is for me tonight, so I figure that while I think of something bland to watch to lull me off, I'd update a little.

I am failing at school, mostly because I am not motivated enough to study for tests. I am disappointed in myself, but not enough so that I would change my behavior.

I want short straight across bangs again, but am scared to cut my long bangs all off.

I put in my two weeks notice, for the third time, in tonight. Evey other time I've put it in theyu try and guilt trip me into staying, but this time I wont let them. Just thinking about not having to see any of the morons I work with EVER AGAIN makes me smile inside. So I feel good about it. The last times I put it in I felt regret, but I think my time there is pretty much through. Tomorrow I will go apply at the Outback that is opening soon near my house. Im not a huge fan of the Outback (I pointed out the irony of a vegan working in a steakhouse to jon today), but its work, and work equals money, and money pays the bills.

I wonder what its like to not be constantly paranoid that people think you are crazy. I bet its nice.

Tomorrow, at my interview, I have to act. Just as I act when I work tables, I become a person that is not myself. Its like wearing a mask. Somehow (unless Im waiting on young hip looking kids or girls that are much prettier than I) when I work a table I am able to put on this facade of friendlyness, all the mysogynistic and shy traits are covered up. So I have to be this breezy, sunny, happy person...which is kind of the exact opposite of what I really am. I cant wait to have a job where I can be myself and inject things into people and fix them.

I cant wait to see the grudge, it looks very the ring-esque, and the ring scared me shitless. Even now, when I think about the girl coming out of the well, it freaks me out.