so i found out i might be a dad!
i haven't really told many people about it yet.. because i'm not sure yet and i don't have many people i can talk to about this kinda stuff so i'm hoping some of you on here will lend me some advice PLEASE! :c
first off, this is insanely shocking news to me as i have been told by several doctors since the age of 15 that i am infertile and can not produce active sperm!
to make matters more brain jarring i didn't even know the girl was pregnant!
we had been very good friends in high school and ended up dating for a very brief time afterwards but mutually decided it was a mistake and would jeopardize the friendship, needless to say we didn't come to that conclusion soon enough because not long afterwards we had a strong falling out and stopped talking for a great deal of time. anyways she texted me the other day saying hey and i respond asking what was up and she replies that she had just given birth and i was slightly taken aback seeing as i had no idea of her pregnancy..
she then proceeded to inform me there was a great chance it was mine. while it is true that we most likely did hook during the time period she would have conceived, it is completely unclear because after we broke up we did still continue to sleep with each other but very randomly and staggered.
she claims to have only slept with one other guy during the time it was possible and that is only one time, protected. i did sleep with her unprotected a few times, and i knew the risks, even with my condition, which can remit at anytime, but i cannot be certain just by her word alone..
though the photos she's sent to my phone do really look like my grandfather a lot and he was born with a full head of blonde hair just like every other boy in my family..
well on friday i go back up north to take the test to give me the confirmation and find out wether or not i have my first born son in this world!
i am so nervous and scared! :'[ i am not ready to be a father at all! and i'm so unbelievably terrified that if he is mine i will fuck him up.. i love kids so much and i want to be there for him so bad but i just dont know if i can! i'm so young and and still have so much to growing and learning to do myself! i dont have a job and dont even know what i want to do with my life yet! i also am way too immature and into being staying up all night partying and getting fucked up all day i dont know how id give up the lifestyle just like that and start being responsible!
to top it all off i'm a bit of a nutter :/ really shouldn't be raising little ones especially not now when i'm so emotionally unstable, as well as financially. i have so much on my plate already i don't know i can do this..
she said she originally wanted to give him up for adoption but her parents made her keep him when they found out.. they said even if we find out i am the father they expect nothing from me and dont care if i help or am involved in his life at all.. which you know any other guy in my position would see as a get out of jail free card but i just cant i have a fucking conscience and if he's mine i don't know how i could abandon him.. i just don't know what to do, my heart , mind and soul are literally being torn apart and i can find no solace.
please if you have any advice or thoughts AT ALL, help me out! i need all the input i can get here!
thanks so much!
<3
V.
i haven't really told many people about it yet.. because i'm not sure yet and i don't have many people i can talk to about this kinda stuff so i'm hoping some of you on here will lend me some advice PLEASE! :c
first off, this is insanely shocking news to me as i have been told by several doctors since the age of 15 that i am infertile and can not produce active sperm!
to make matters more brain jarring i didn't even know the girl was pregnant!
we had been very good friends in high school and ended up dating for a very brief time afterwards but mutually decided it was a mistake and would jeopardize the friendship, needless to say we didn't come to that conclusion soon enough because not long afterwards we had a strong falling out and stopped talking for a great deal of time. anyways she texted me the other day saying hey and i respond asking what was up and she replies that she had just given birth and i was slightly taken aback seeing as i had no idea of her pregnancy..
she then proceeded to inform me there was a great chance it was mine. while it is true that we most likely did hook during the time period she would have conceived, it is completely unclear because after we broke up we did still continue to sleep with each other but very randomly and staggered.
she claims to have only slept with one other guy during the time it was possible and that is only one time, protected. i did sleep with her unprotected a few times, and i knew the risks, even with my condition, which can remit at anytime, but i cannot be certain just by her word alone..
though the photos she's sent to my phone do really look like my grandfather a lot and he was born with a full head of blonde hair just like every other boy in my family..
well on friday i go back up north to take the test to give me the confirmation and find out wether or not i have my first born son in this world!
i am so nervous and scared! :'[ i am not ready to be a father at all! and i'm so unbelievably terrified that if he is mine i will fuck him up.. i love kids so much and i want to be there for him so bad but i just dont know if i can! i'm so young and and still have so much to growing and learning to do myself! i dont have a job and dont even know what i want to do with my life yet! i also am way too immature and into being staying up all night partying and getting fucked up all day i dont know how id give up the lifestyle just like that and start being responsible!
to top it all off i'm a bit of a nutter :/ really shouldn't be raising little ones especially not now when i'm so emotionally unstable, as well as financially. i have so much on my plate already i don't know i can do this..
she said she originally wanted to give him up for adoption but her parents made her keep him when they found out.. they said even if we find out i am the father they expect nothing from me and dont care if i help or am involved in his life at all.. which you know any other guy in my position would see as a get out of jail free card but i just cant i have a fucking conscience and if he's mine i don't know how i could abandon him.. i just don't know what to do, my heart , mind and soul are literally being torn apart and i can find no solace.
please if you have any advice or thoughts AT ALL, help me out! i need all the input i can get here!
thanks so much!
<3
V.
jaysuicide:
If he is yours, just be there for him as much as you can, regardless of whether or not the parents want you in his life. I firmly believe that a child needs a not only a mother figure, but a father figure as well, to be raised properly. You might have to give up a lot of the partying and getting fucked up, but it will be worth it in the end when you see what you've done for your child. I'm not a mother, but I know a lot about parenting lol 