wrote a big long ass thing of a thing but considered it just a warm up, so i let it go and erased it. now hopefully, what follows is not what i expect nor is it only comfortable... nice shape the corset makes (arousing) but predictable. work was hard on my feet today- they are bad, not meant for land. more like flippers, and yet...
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falling asleep all day. like to spell things close to normal, want to be heard, it's important to me. have no commentary or none that asks for a response. my feet continue to be seperate from me and i am in alot of pain will spend money for shoes that make me feel as if i'm walking on water. i know she can talk alright,...
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not much to say - am waiting for the beans to cook. today's class stirred me up. makes me think of the importance of the early years in a person's life. i have early memories of moments before i could talk. being washed in the sink was one, being wheeled in a stroller by my sister was another. both times were emotionally charged - i...
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plans to get together with friend today fell through but i was fluid enough not to get caught in the limitations of a plan. read, wrote, stared out the window in a coffee shop. treated myself to some lovely red curry. as i was eating it, had the usual feelings of guilt for spending money unnessesarily but reversed the thinking pattern towards positivity. must take...
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sally_struthers:
money is meant to be spent, curry is meant to be eaten and coffee is meant to be drunk. Strega is meant to be happy and satisfied. Friend needs to get it together.
since i've had a bunch of time to relax i have enjoyed altering myself with beer and coffee, although not at the same time. nice to be suddenly lively and then quietly let go. saw angels and insects today. left me feeling a bit sad. hope all is well with everyone.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
vdrak80:
Will Godiva fill the holy wrapper? 2 days to decide...
london:
Sounds like my night after school :o)
body is tired from wieghts and repitition. the throat is a bit sore. sunlight came in my room to wake me up-that is how i saw it, and what's the difference? cats locked out of the room to ensure peace and sleep. when emerging, i found him on the couch - a nice little black circle of a thing. his eyes are green. most of...
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mtlqueen:
i, too, have a cat that enjoys interrupting sleep. each morning at 5am precisely, to be exact. he does it under the guise that he needs food, but once i stumble over to his food dish, i see he's already got some grub...he just wants me to watch him eat it. bugger. but he's so darn adorable (he's the one in my profile pic) how can i get mad? i use it as an excuse to go pee in the middle of the night now, rather than bothering to figure out why he enjoys this psychological warfare he's into...sleep deprivation is a dangerous thing!
i took a picture of our other cat (a little old black cat, also green eyed, named Baby, aka: "baby the bitch") because she's curled up on top of our couch, on top of a folded blanket, like the princess and the pea. she's not really a bitch, she's actually a doll 90% of the time. but that ten percent, whoa lookout. the bitch is back. but then when i started writing to you, i noticed there was no way for me to stick this picture in your journal. maybe i'll start a thread of pictures of pets, although i'm sure it's probably been done a hundred times before...but i love animals, so what the heck.
i hope your desk is littered with paper, the ravings of a mad literary genius, today.
i took a picture of our other cat (a little old black cat, also green eyed, named Baby, aka: "baby the bitch") because she's curled up on top of our couch, on top of a folded blanket, like the princess and the pea. she's not really a bitch, she's actually a doll 90% of the time. but that ten percent, whoa lookout. the bitch is back. but then when i started writing to you, i noticed there was no way for me to stick this picture in your journal. maybe i'll start a thread of pictures of pets, although i'm sure it's probably been done a hundred times before...but i love animals, so what the heck.
i hope your desk is littered with paper, the ravings of a mad literary genius, today.
nice when you give cake on birthdays. they say to keep going. if you are afraid of hieghts and you are high up, dont look down. you are smart then not to look down. my fingers seem to know where to go, even if he can't quite be there with me, i don't blame him, its hard to be a boy. i wanted to be...
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_william_:
I said, "happiness is not something to strive for...it is fleeting , and .. . like love, fully realized only in hindsight."
It didn't go over well with her....and that's okay. It's like when I was a kid and thought the stars made noise....just to find out that it was the hum of the powerlines.
It didn't go over well with her....and that's okay. It's like when I was a kid and thought the stars made noise....just to find out that it was the hum of the powerlines.
vervain______:
yum.
yesterday was officially a day after having too much to drink. i was depressed, took a couple of naps clutching the cat to me for dear life, ate odd foods for intuitive medicinal purposes. last night was so tired i was shouting vile obscenities to boyfriend and housemates in a giggly and friendly manner. (ex. roaring cunt holes). played a whole bunch of super monkey...
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mtlqueen:
hi lovely lady,
i too, have felt much intense determination during these "nights before"...hopefully you're better at remembering how it was you were going to sit down the next day and do everything much better than every other "morning after". I have those a lot, but so far, any changes in my "grand plan" have happened so fucking slowly that I can't even tell that I'm doing anything differently! Until I look back two, maybe three years and admit that okay, I might be doing some things differently, better...I find that anything with brie the next day makes the hangover less "cotton-headish". i've never played super monkey ball 2, is that a playstation game? i love playing quake II when i feel the need for blood and guts. monkey ball 2 sounds like much more uplifting video game action, i should try it sometime, although we have no video game system. maybe xmas we'll give eachother a game system for one giant prezzie. sorry, i'm blabbing. you're interesting. i'll drop in later.
i too, have felt much intense determination during these "nights before"...hopefully you're better at remembering how it was you were going to sit down the next day and do everything much better than every other "morning after". I have those a lot, but so far, any changes in my "grand plan" have happened so fucking slowly that I can't even tell that I'm doing anything differently! Until I look back two, maybe three years and admit that okay, I might be doing some things differently, better...I find that anything with brie the next day makes the hangover less "cotton-headish". i've never played super monkey ball 2, is that a playstation game? i love playing quake II when i feel the need for blood and guts. monkey ball 2 sounds like much more uplifting video game action, i should try it sometime, although we have no video game system. maybe xmas we'll give eachother a game system for one giant prezzie. sorry, i'm blabbing. you're interesting. i'll drop in later.
partiallyblind:
good god. surely every woman in portland can't be gorgeous... is there something in the water over there?
i think there needs to be an inquiry (and i need to move... hurrah!)
i think there needs to be an inquiry (and i need to move... hurrah!)
today is grey.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
_william_:
what shade? ...being an Oregonian, and a bit nostalgic for shit weather, I must know. Thankyou oh so much.
vdrak80:
but it is not hot!
it is nice how he listens to me. i don't take this for granted / i do take this for granted.
writing more because it helps. in the bed tossing and churning thinking about the night before. parts of me getting violent in small ways. there are enough questions for everybody. the phone is off the hook and i'm not playing. i miss him. but. the parts of my life that i wanted to expand have.
static in my attic, even the creak of the floorboards can't help me now. i'm elevated far from the ground and although we have had dreams of flying it is different when you can. the feet are not used to suspesion. he is behind a permanant closed door, and when she talks she sounds like a bird, many songs but no sense - their own...
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